Stick a fork in me

[Digit]

Coz I'm pretty sure I'm done.
I've been detoxing hard for 6 months and it just keeps on coming.
I have a front row seat watching my children fall apart. The pressure on them is intense. I see my kids suffering knowing I am the cause. My son slices himself with razor blades while refusing counselling and all my little girl wants is to come home. There's no home in this place. Just more danger for her. It's her birthday on Friday. Some other woman will bake her cake, someone else will wrap her gifts.
Her mother is more alligator than woman now.
We're heading for bankruptcy and debtors court. Which I could care less about in the grand scheme of things; it's a nothing.
My family thinks me mad so there's no support from them for the kids.
I've run out of Doctors and specialists to tell me I do this to myself, can't pay the bills for the G.P who writes for me. Hell I'm lucky to be able to afford a bag of Epsom salts, let alone another import of enzymes.
How long now before I have to kiss my faithful beast goodbye?
It's got so bad we're struggling to find the money to buy basic food.

I'm trying to find a way to donate my body to science.
Better than having it pollute the ground.
Trying to talk myself into another heinous bath.
Through another night, week, month, 2? There's no waking from this mare.
Looking hard on the inside to stay here under my fake face till after the holiday season passes.
Freakin Christmas, why can't it be July?
Dunno why I'm telling you guys. Talking into thin air.
Add another tick on the Morgs wall of shame.
The more I learn the less I know.
There's no finish line in this crazy mixed up game.
How can anyone be so callous as to pretend they have this crap?
How stupid was I to think I could take another day in MDR.
Good luck to those of you that fight this fight for real.

Kia Kaha from the land of the long white chemtrail.
Ake Arohanui to the few that welcomed me here.

[Sadsack]

Digit -

My heart is breaking reading your post. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I am for real and I truly care about you.

I have no words of wisdom, only of empathy. We need so much help; I pray that there are some good people reading here who can sift through the inappropriate stuff and come to our aid, somehow.

Please don't leave the site, OK? Don't read the cannabalistic posts, stay with what brings you hope and comfort.

I will pray for you tonight.

Blessings,
SS

[kckc]

Someone else posted on another thread..I believe Jim.. seems like many of us are having hard times. Its good that you vented.......I am so sorry about what your going through,.... especially when it comes to your children....

I am in agreement with Sadsack, "where 2 or more" ..........


keep your chin up sweetie, will say a prayer for you too

love and prayers,
kc

[jonsi]

Oh Digit, I wish there was something I could do for you.

Please hang in there. I went through hell for over 2 years and it took everything I had to just get my little girl out the door every morning to go to school before I would start screaming and crying and wanting to kill myself... I was so weak that it was a struggle to open a jar of mayo or peanut butter.

That was around three years ago.

I found a homeopathic Doctor that helped us. I started to take detox stuff (on my own, without advice from my Doctor) but it was too much for me and I stopped. Are you sure you are taking the correct detox stuff? Sometimes they make us sicker. If they aren't helping you I would stop taking them right away!

I am so sorry to hear about your son. And Christmas is stressful.

Please keep posting here. A lot of us have been through what you are experiencing right now. It took me a long time to figure it out and there are many paths to getting better. Please know that it will get better. You are going through the worst stage of "M" right now and you will be very proud of yourself when you get through this stage.

Peace & love to you,

In the white light,
~jonsi

[lamb]

God Bless you sister. I too will pray for you. Focus on your kids and pull yourself up... they are worth living for. Even though your existence doesn't seem that way right now... Do what you can vitamin wise... pool nearby? Go soak in it...ocean nearby go lie in shallow water and pray like hell but get up and keep moving...please.

Get out of your environment and get some sun.

It is a human nightmare but we must believe that we are stronger!

God Bless.

[JimDoe]

Yes I went through a really bad day yesterday. Without doubt the most depressing day I have ever suffered. I,m almost back on par today. I got outside and visited a friend and did a few other things. Maybe what Steve Frey said about getting some daylight helps. I guess all I can say Digit is please try and keep haning on. One thing I do know is we all care. God Bless you.

[sojii]

Digit, peace to you. Peace falling like warm rain on your head, your shoulders, your poor, exhausted self.

I'm new to this and haven't experienced what you have but please listen to those here who have and who can reach out to you from the other side of this. You're not alone.

I'll pray for you too.

[Baraka Obam]

You know isn't there someone near Digit that can stop in and raise her spirits, there has to be somone.

I also have to wonder what she does to aleviate her symptoms.

[Steve Frey]

Digit PM'd me today because she ran across the thread I started regarding the passing of our dearly beloved RobertaLouise,
RobertaLouise, a well loved member at Lymebusters passed away yesterday

Roberta also lived in New Zealand and Digit asked if I knew whether Roberta had any luck with Doctors over there and if there were factors other than morgellons involved in her passing. Unfortunantly I cannot answer these questions since I did not know Roberta that well, but I loved her just the same, she was a kind an compassionate woman that loved her fellow human, here's to you Roberta Louise.

Anyway I'm putting this out there in the hopes of finding someone that can answer Digit's questions about Roberta, maybe we can connect Digit to Roberta's daughter Christine, there is an email for her in the link above, not sure if it's still good. Anyone?

[cynical]

Digit I sent you a pm. Please hang in there. I was once at your breaking point. At the time I thought I would never have relief from the constant itching and crawling sensations.

I am praying for you.

Cyn