frustrated :(

[whrk]

i posted not too long ago about thinking that my morgellons was under control and that the only problem i really had was a bit of the candida (and sometimes seeing the little blue things) because i wasn't having the same crawling feeling and i was feeling great and that i finally felt well enough to start trying for a family with my husband.

big surprise, i think i jinxed myself or something because not too long after posting that and feeling really positive about my future plans, everything i felt before is coming back and many of the symptoms have come back full force. i have that weird kicking feeling in my stomach again, that feeling like i'm going to throw up a lot, i've also started seeing little white things in my nose and getting bad sinus infections with green and red tinged blood (which i think is one of the things that grosses me out the most) and having bad smells when i breathe in, the pain in my joints is returning, and i've even started seeing those multicolored thread things that were one of my first morgellons signs (does anyone know what i mean??). i feel like i've been through hell and back doing all of those cleanses and i'm tired of seeing weird things come out of every inch of my body (as i'm sure other people are as well). are all of those things even related to the morgs? i don't even know...im falling apart and i'm only 24.

i feel so frustrated and so angry and just when i thought my sanity was returning...i seem to be losing my mind again. i don't mean to be a downer...i just wonder if other people are coping with this better than i am because all of the praying and crying i've done doesn't seem to be helping much at all.

[whrk]

no one? i know threads like this are posted all the time but i just need a little bit of support im actually scared to go back to my doctor and talk to her because she made me feel stupid last time. as in, she was holding her hand over her mouth and it looked like she was trying not to laugh and i just don't feel like i have anyone else to talk to right now. i dont want to talk to my family about it anymore and trying to live a normal life is becoming hard. i also was bedbound for nearly two weeks because of a kidney infection and a kidney stone and just....i'm sick of this. i really, truly am.

[dizzy dame]

Hi, I am so sorry to hear you are having all of the problems return. It seems that is what this does. It gets better then attacks again. I wish I could give you a solution, but I don't have any. I know this must be really hard for someone that is just starting out with their life, wanting a family and all of the good things that we are supposed to have. I believe you can get better with treatment, but it takes time.

I don't have some of the things you are discribing so I don't know what the best thing to take would be. I am sure someone will come along and give you some advise. Please take care of yourself and follow suggestions you find under treatment, can't hurt . DD

[whrk]

thank you dizzy dame, i really needed that. i know that no one really seems to have a solution (yet) but hopefully, someone will be able to figure it out. sometimes i really do just want to end it all, but i know that won't do me any good at all and that i just have to keep going...no one ever said life was fair though, did they?

i really don't know what else to try though...i've taken everything imaginable (i was taking upwards of 15 different kinds of vitamins, not including colloidal silver and bathing in baking soda and stuff like that) at one point but i just can't afford to do that forever.

anyway, thank you for your help and i hope you continue to take care of yourself too