I am at my wits end

[posey]

I just want to die. I prayed today for God to take me.

If it weren't for cotton bedding, I would check myself into the hospital.

I think I got a plan going and sure enough, what ever I am using ends up with moving fibers, such as paper towel.

I just cleaned the whole dryer out yesterday, which I normally d after my husband does his clothes..I have to d a reslly thourough job then because there are 3 divider things on the dryer drum; I suppose for better tumbling of clothes. They are not a part of the dryer that is flush to the drum so crud gets in them. Today I came to dry my clothes and I was so disgusted to see what I had cleaned was all back again.

Normally my husband does his clothes on Sunday so i now at least once a week I am going to have to do this deep cleaning.

I just don't know how much more I can take because it seems there are no options left. I'm out of ideas.

Thanks for listening. After I finished with my cry I knew I had to come here ans unload It dies help.

Excuse typos, I'm not particularly in any healthy state right now t worry about them,and I wish it wa my worst worry.

Thanks everyone. I needed this.

[Kritters]

POSEY~

We need you to smile RIGHT NOW. You are going to get through this. Can you imagine if you never found this forum? Why do you think you did find it? Because we will help each other through this, that's why. You can't give up now.

Get a funny movie you love to watch and watch it. Or put on some music and dance around the room.

Or sit very still and visualize yourself in a happy, healthy body and believe that you are and it will happen.

We will beat this. We are family, so don't make the rest us lose our strength by losing yours.

love,
Kritts

[fracty]

Yes, Posey hang in there. I will be praying for you.

I think we are all family too. For some reason we are going through this horrific thing and maybe it is so things can be turned around.

I really think you wil start doing better soon. Everyone is trying so many things and I think something will work. We will figure this out.

[terri]

Posey,I read here alot and Ive cried and prayed for you,I,WE know how you feel.Id say this was the worst thing ever happened to me but it isnt When my husband passed away now that was ....I prayed constantly to die and suicide is no option I dont want to go to hell, GOD had another plan for me so praying to die didnt work.I have no doubt Im not gonna be here for much longer too many health problems and the list grows,but while I am let me tell you please dont cry because then I do,when I read any of you do I cry too for you.We know how you feel but the day I pray the answer will come and we will be at least cured of this Im with the others hang in there.GOD knows we need and love you .......love terri

[jonsi]

I am sorry posey, terri, everyone who is going through this "M" nightmare....

What can I say to help?

I've been very close to the suicide option too, but have a young daughter to take care of.

It takes some time, but I really do pray that all of us will get through the worst phases of "M" and reach a point where we can start living life (as we should know it) again.

I'm not sure how long it takes for most of us, but for me it took 2-3 years to get through the worst. It is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up, it is there.

Peace to you, I understand

In the white light,
~jonsi

[Gator]

Hi Posey,

I can sure identify with everything you wrote. No hon, no mon, no life, just sick, sick, sick.
Yes, I what to give up and quit, but we cannot, we must not, for that is not God's plan for us.

You are a part of all of us and we need you to be there for us. Who knows,you may be the one to find the answer to all this suffering.


Along with the others, I am praying for you and all of us. Kritts idea of sitting and seeing yourself well is a good thing to do. I often cry out to God and sit in His lap with His loving arms around me. He knows what we are going through although we don't know why.

Hang in there Posey. We are going to make it throught this.

Sending you hugs and love,
Gator

[Robin]

Hey all!
We will get thru this! Posey, jonsi is right we have been on this site for a few years now and it is true.you will reach a point where it does get easier. the majority of the people who have been here awhile could vouch for this! hang in there it does get better!
xo

[Sadsack]

Just when the caterpillar thought the world
was coming to an end it turned into a
beautiful butterfly.

Anonymous

SS

[Baraka Obam]

Come on now, how can we get back up when we worry about the , water, cloths, bedding, dog, cat, pillows, ................. you get my drift. If you don't like the stuff in the dryer, don't dry your cloths in it, HANG THEM.

Life is not the best but to go bonkers over these little things, let go, I have not gone one little bit fanatic over dirt dirt, tonight i had to deal with a plugged pipe, disgusting is the word for it, concerned a tiny bit, but it is not worth the worry expelled by the dirt dirt bunch. When will we admit, realize our bodies are the problem, maybe its in the air, water, toothpaste, food, animals, sink, socks, cotton, but don't forget the active infection in the body, NOW RELAX! See how easy it can be. I am 90% free of problems, as I have told you all, GSE used religiously and hydrogen peroxide ALWAYS gets me back on track. Its maintenance once in awhile. I will tell you this, IF i get a tiny eruption, a little bit of attention and I look even better than before. The answer for most is LITTLE BY LITTLE. I just took more than a 40 day trip with a lapse of that long in maintainence. MY situation was DIRE at one time, and I NEVER, EVER woried about how clean things were while trying to get well, NOT ONCE!!!!!!!

[Sadsack]

Hey, Baraka!

Been thinking about you! How've you been?? Where you been?? Why don't you join us on Sunday??

SS