Don't want to be a "downer", just need to talk

[posey]

I don't want to bum anyone out so I got to give a warning first; not to read if you get bummed easily and/or if you're having a good day.

I seriously think this is going to be a lifelong disease, that is; unless God intervenes.

Due to having my head shaved I am able to see so much more near the scalp than I could before it was shaved. When I use the term "mirror", or "my mirror" in this post, I am spekaing of a small mirror I bought at Walmart for $5.00. It is magnified 15x. My scalp has what seems like a sheer vinyl covering over the biofilm, almost as if it is a protector for biofilm.

I have been using the acne med. salicylate acid on my face and scalp and it really does bring stuff out. Stuff? White stuff. Some thick and soft, some like seeds, some kinda scaly, some deepr than others.

Yesterday I bought some of the Neutrogena line products with the 2% sal. acid in them. One is the Triple Action Toner. I put it in a spray bottle though so I can spray and not waste. Im going to take a shower shortly, but I have been misting myself with this, off and on, all day. When I look in my mirror I can see tiny bumps on my head where a hairlike thing is still under the skin but the sal. acid is breaking through the vinyl like barrier and makes it easier to pull it out with a tweezers. Also, I can fel things moving on me when I use this, and then I look and some crap has come out. I like the Clean and Clear sal. acid the best but I haven't been able to find it. It does work better. With that on and when something moves, I go to look and here there will be a slew of fibers hanging fom my face!! When I wipe my face with a paper towel or pull gently with a tweezers, a sheet of fibers comes off my face.

The really bad part? There are a kajillion of these on my scalp. I can scrape along my scalp with the tweezers also and stuff flies off my head. Sometimes when I pull a hair thing out, something flies out also, almost as if it might be a live thing jumping out.

Well I guess that's it. Thanks for the ear and the shoulder to lean on.

You know what? If I didn't have this sick, disgusting thing and I came across my post somehow on the internet; I'd probably think this person (me) was nuts. I would feel bad for her and hope she got the help she needed via behavioral medicine.

The really, really bad part? She's NOT nuts.

posey

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or hump it.....Piss on it and walk away. (borrowed from a board I accidentally came upon; I liked so much- I hope the person won't mind if she sees this somehow)

[-----------]

Hi Posey, no, you're not 'nuts'... you're a brave Morgie warrior. Your perceptions are real, have faith - if man created this 'vinyl' monster - maybe, we can find a way to dissolve it and get our real skin back?

It's good to hear that the Neutrogena product has some beneficial effects.

Hang in there...

[gigi22]

Posey -

I hear you! I'm so sorry you are going through a rough time.

When I get agitated and frustrated, my husband tells me to just take it one day at a time, and it makes me feel a little better. It's great that you found something that really works! Get your scalp back! It's yours!

I found a store that sells the 2.5% Benzoyl Peroxide here: Acne Products
They have a 16 oz version. I'm not sure if this helps you or not. I heard that it works just as well as the 10%, but its alot less harsh on the skin. Also, have you tried the Indian Healing clay? Mmarsha and Kammy seem to be seeing good results. I am waiting on mine .. hopefully it comes soon.

[posey]

When you get and try your Clay would you PM me and let me know your results?

My husband is having a "FIT" due to all the money I spend each month on new things, paper towels, etc. I can understand it to a certain extent, but this is my life and quality of life at risk here. Not to mention the awful filthy, hideosness of this awful monster.

I could tell him some things about our house but I know he wouldn't believe it.

I can understand the bizarreness of this monster making some things hard for others to believe but the problem I have is that I just wish I would get credit for my intelligence. That really irks me.

I am not realized for my intelligence.

and as others here too, I am an intelligent person.

Another thing, I don't want people to pity me or feel sorry for me, but for as long as I have suffered with the Fibromyalgia, not ONCE has he ever even put his arm around me and say how bad he feels for me. Or anything to that affect, just ONE time, would have been terriffic!

If if wsn't for Jesus Christ, I would certainly know I was truly alone in my tangible world.

You know, I think there are more comforting, concerned, empathetic virtual people in this world.

[Robin]

Hi Posey,
It is very hard for the ones we love to understand our suffering.he probally just does not know what to do to ease your pain and it scares him.listen please keep treating your scalp.i cut my hair wicked short also when i first started to really feel this.but that is how i ended up getting well again! i also believe those products along with others helps to rid our bodies of the buildup you have to remove this crap in order to overcome it. i've been bathing my 7yr old in similar stuff any types of salts or products that dissolve callouses and it seems to be working i've removed alot of crap out of his face.just keep fighting it! if i got better all of you can too!
LOVE Robin

[saramar]

Posey, your post reminded me about the Clean and Clear! If they don't have the salicylic acid gel, buy the moisturizer. It also contains salicylic acid, and gave me a lot of relief years ago. If nothing else it feels very soothing, and kind of dries stuff up.
I've been reading but not posting for a few weeks because of that blog entry that was linked on here written by Mr. Common Sense. The one about the "terrain". That made so much sense to me. Even though we still have this thing living in us I'm going to focus my energy on making myself an inhospitable host!
How? By getting my ph under control, taking garlic and DE daily and topically using aloe gel and DE. And now I'm running to Walgreens for some Clean and Clear moisturizer! I'm still trying to find the stuff to test my ph though I'm just following the guidelines for acidic and alkaline foods.
Hang in there girl!
Sarah

[Kritters]

Posey...

I just saved your quote to my favorite 'fun' stuff....I'm sure I'll be using it often.

How does your husband feel about your symptoms....and also about your shaving your head. I have learned from the men I've known that when one tiny thing bothers them, EVERYTHING seems to bother them and you never know why....

I realize you can't piss on him and walk away, but mentally maybe. ;-)

One thing that helps me these days since absolutely NO one really understands my situation, is to just think myself more advanced in knowledge (which we are) and dealing with something esoteric. We can't really expect them to understand. It's a whole different world. If DOCTORS don't understand, how can we expect anyone else to, even if they KNOW we are intelligent.

Kritts

[time2heal]

Hi Posey,

It broke my heart to read your post. I'm with you, girlfriend!

My husband is just starting to "get it", maybe due to his Mom's very positive reaction to my "Intense prayer" saga. I've been keeping the family updated on the interactions with the "Well-known Research Hospital". . .and there is SO much progress being made. I really have faith that the answers are coming soon; if not from contact with this source than with other factions that seem to be popping out all over.

Hold the faith, girlfriend. . .very intelligent girlfriend. . .reach out for it. . .

It's "Time"

[Katinka]

Hey Posey..sorry, just now saw your post....Hey! listen! you are NOT 'nuts' nor stupid! In fact you are very intelligent. I have noticed that many here at this forum are highly talented and intelligent and have a BIG heart besides that!

We can't blame people who are not afflicted with this 'monster'...they just can't understand...and if you think about it...well..wow!...we wouldn't have probably believed it before either if someone would have come up and tell us: 'Hi, I have parasites crawling out of my head!'...would we?

Everyone here has made this experience with their families and friends, I guess..I did too.

But the good thing is this forum here...the best ever! WE have found each other..give and receive support, care and tips...and hugs once in a while!

I don't know what to suggest to use on your scalp, Posey...I had them 'up there' too...I used all kind of stuff...Rubbing Alcohol, Disinfectant Spray, Tea Tree Oil, Neem, MSM, Silver.....

What helped best to clear up the lesions on my scalp was a Silver Ointment..even topical antibiotics didn't clear them up.

But I think the best way to KILL this is internally...PUSH THEM OUT!!

Do you take any supplements or other stuff like DE or Cell Power to treat yourself?..sorry if I missed your post regarding this...Have you ever done the Vitamin C / Salt therapy?

Take care, dear Posey....HELP will be here soon! Don't give up!

Kat

[jonsi]

Hi Posey,

We are so lucky to have each other and share our experiences. I'm glad you spoke up about what you are going through and how you are feeling. So many of us went through our symptoms (alone) years ago before we found this site.

Hang in there! Take baby steps, day to day. You will get better!

In the white light,
~jonsi