Anxiety Attacks

[Sadsack]

I've been dealing with this almost two years, and I have improved (physically) greatly.
My BIG problem is - still - anxiety attacks and fear.
I get overwhelmed just doing nothing. I try to distract myself as much as possible, but I just can't let it go.
Another aspect of this is that I have lost soooo much, and I am quite depressed about what has happened to my life. Too many unknowns to venture too far out of my comfort zone...too afraid of a relapse due to doing the wrong thing...eating the wrong food if I go out, touching things that may be contaminated with I-don't-know-what that may harm me. This life is utter MADNESS.
And of course I feel guilty because I really am doing so much better, I should just be grateful.
I know that no one has the answers...I just need to express it....
SS

[Kritters]

Dearest Sadsack,

Please don't be sad. My feeling is that you already were afflicted with this and you shouldn't worry about a relapse if you eat the wrong foods etc. Your living in fear and worry will do more harm to your emotions and psyche than that, I think.

For some reason, my anxiety attacks and fear flashes have subsided. Every once in a while I feel one coming on and I just focus on it and it gets intimidated and leaves. If at all it happens when I think I am not accomplishing things I know I have to do. I think I've always been in fear of the unknown...that's what this does to you, I guess.

I read that the B vitamins are supposed to help with that, and I know for sure the D does from the sun. Since I started with the magnesium and zinc, many things have improved.

Cheer up.......
xoxoxo
Kritts

[faithinacure]

Hey Sadsack:
It's so true for us all. Your world suddenly collapses, changes. What you know to be true becomes all rewritten. It's as if you wake up and the color red is now known as blue and it get's so surreal. We are reborn into a different life, suddenly. I have gone through so many periods of shutting down emotionally and physically. Friends don't understand what's happened to you and you're not dying to tell 'em either, so you naturally want to go into seclusion. I'll bet every person on this site can tell you that same story at different points. We all are in this group experience. It was so strange I was making up this song about morgs to Joni Mitchell's Both Sides Now, then I saw the song on the site. Someone else was thinking an identical thought at the same time. My husband and I laughed at the synchronicity of it, but not surprised. You have to laugh sometimes or you'll go nuts. Kritts make me laugh on this site just when I need it most. Each day you get a little more courage; baby steps. Sending you a big hug full of laughter and love. We'll get through this. Love, Faithxoxoxo

[Sadsack]

Remember the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind"? People all over the country were have feelings/images that they couldn't explain, were all being drawn to something they couldn't explain.
Morgellons isn't exactly like that, but there IS something occuring that is way beyond what can be understood or explained by anything we knew before. Or anything we can research and explain by what we find.
Only this is more complex than the images those people saw....there are too many things, too many inexplicable things. Why aren't we all crazy? (yeah, I know - the detractors THINK we are!).
I read somewhere that the suicide rate in the US has been going up every year since 1999 among middle aged men and women. This was a CDC finding; they had no explanation for it....the economy was great in 1999 and for some years after....no wars for a few years.... what was the wild card causing these suicides? I know of several Morgellons sucides...how many more do we NOT know about?
Sorry if this is a downer thread. I just want to understand what the hell is going on. I know how paranoid this sounds, but doesn't it make you wonder if suicide isn't the GOAL of Morgellons??
No answers to this, only one of a thousand speculations.
SS

[faithinacure]

I agree with your theory that there are events going on beyond what we were conditioned to believe is ordinary reality. When we learned the world wasn't flat that was an enormous shock, I suppose. When the first car or plane took off or when computers entered the scene; that was very strange for folks to grasp as well. When the pioneers traveled to places unknown, that was a test. Now we are faced with this disease and the culture we live in and everyone's own agenda; some altruistic and others self-serving. I personally feel that we who suffer with this disease do have a karmic connection together. We are here for some purpose. It's just my own opinion, but I feel there's a divine hand in this, though I don't understand it. I feel we have to continue to endure and not give up. Be easy on ourselves, and have the faith that we can get through this; one day at a time.
Love ya, Faithxoxoxox

[Kritters]

Faith,
I love your calm sense of reason.
I agree with all you say.
ahhh feels it in me bonz.
xoxoxoxoxo
Kritts

[weredIgo]

Hi,
I never had anxiety attacks in my life, but soon after this started so did they. I've always felt they were not true anxiety attacks. Not that we don't have alot to make us anxious. Some how I think you get them when this stuff gets in heart and lungs and other internals. Boy do I understand about losing things. My life has been turned upside down and inside out. I don't think any of us find it easy to let this go, by the way we all use this site. All of us looking for some kind of answer. The suicide thing you spoke of, I had a shrink ask me did I know the saying "The grass is greener" after telling her of my husbands death. I said yes. She said , do you know what it means? I said yes. Then she didn't say any more. This was a social security dr.. Now I have rolled that around in my head for years. It might be paranoid but I felt that is what she was sugesting. So many stories I could tell you guys that make me wonder. I noticed a couple of months ago I have a sunken in place in my rib cage. No one says a word. Everything is OOOOOOK. Tests always negative. Ya wonder why we are all paranoid. I myself don't think there is any thing unusual wanting to know what is wrong, what do we have.


ANY WAY, talk at ya later

C

[Sadsack]

Wered -
I know the feeling you are talking about...I had them a lot when I was really sick. My heart would just start beating fast, although I wasn't feeling "anxious" at the time. I am much better, and don't have that happen anymore. What I'm describing is directly connected to thoughts that are in my head, fearful thoughts, and then the heart starts pounding.
You know, I HATE this....just thought I'd add that.
SS

[Kritters]

yes...I HATE THIS, TOO!!!! SS~

I never had the negative, uncontrollable fearful thoughts until this happened either.

C~ it is interesting, isn't it? that if you tell the doctor what to order the tests come back negative. I wonder what kind of code they put on the prescription for the labs. P..S...Y..C..H..O maybe???

I don't get what the shrink was suggesting about the grass being greener...did she mean the other side of life (as in death)? Sorry, I'm dense.

Kritts

[Sadsack]

I wasn't sure, either Kritters - ! I do think it means you THINK it'll be better if your dead...oh, boy...you mean it could be worse??? I often feel that I am in hell already.
SS