Barium Swallow... Is it possible?

[MeaganM]

I am scheduled for a barium swallow tomorrow where the Gastro also wants me to swallow a pill and see if it gets stuck. As most of you may know, I have been having extreme problems swallowing lately which apparently is common with M, although I don't know how others can stand it.

I have lost so much weight and when I swallow, food gets stuck and I cough it back up. It feels like there is a lump in my throat all the time and it's driving me crazy! I am constantly worried that I am going to choke. The other night, a piece of food got stuck as usual and while trying to cough it up, lots of blood came out. It scared me.

The doctors don't want to hear anything else that's going on and the Gastro today was no different. I didn't mention M or parasites but tried to explain that I have been having bleeding issues lately, weight loss, skin issues, etc... and he just blew right over that. Why is it not concerning to a doctor when a person looses 20 pounds in 3 months weighing only 94 pounds at 5'2" and has had some bleeding issues? I feel like I'm at death's door and apparently, this is normal or "it must be all in my head". I used to work in the medical field and I could never imagine not taking someone's concerns seriously.

Sorry, it must be that time of week when I get emotional and feel sorry for myself again. I was just curious if anyone else had this test and did it show anything?

BTW, you guys on this forum are really awesome and I don't know what I would do without becoming part of the group. You are all so very strong and determined and I think it's amazing how many of you have fought this condition, pushed through the pain, and continue giving inspiration to others. Thank you!

[sojii]

Meagan, I was just about to PM you to see how your appointment had gone. Well, that answers my question. What's wrong with these people? Bleeding problems and weight loss are major danger signals. How can they ignore them? Maybe he thinks the barium swallow will show anything that might be there? Are they doing an upper GI?

[MeaganM]

The upper GI and barium swallow are the same so yes, that is what they are doing. I'm a little nervous about the pill. They didn't have this technology when I was an x-ray tech. He said pill is the size of what our esophagus is supposed to be and they will watch it go down and see if it gets stuck. I can barely swallow applesauce! I'm a little nervous...

[sojii]

I'd be nervous, too.

Are you really thinking of checking yourself into a psych hospital??

[MeaganM]

Yes, I know it sounds crazy but I need help and don't want to live like this anymore. I want my life back. I ask my husband every night to check on me every morning to make sure I'm still breathing because I don't want my son to find me otherwise. I want to live (I love my life) and am doing everything I can to survive this but I'm not sure my body is cooperating. I am not the same person today that I was a few years ago. I have become a shell. If the test comes back negative, I think it's time for me to reassess the situation.

[sojii]

Meagan, you've struck me as a intelligent, reasonable person, not prone to knee-jerk reactions. You're the only one who can say whether that would be the logical next step if there's no medical evidence of disease. What would you be going into a mental health center for exactly? To find out if your symptoms are psychosomatic? Do you have any reason to believe you're delusional? Has anyone who knows you well hinted at either of those? You've taken such great care to hide the degree of your symptoms from your family to give them as normal a life as you can. That in itself is anxiety-producing, even if you didn't have the anxiety from morgellon's symptoms adding to it. Anxiety could produce swallowing difficulty. But the bleeding, that's another story. Coupled with the swallowing issue, that sounds dangerous.

Remember that there are more and more diseases and conditions being accepted by the medical community now which 30 years ago were automatically diagnosed as being psychosomatic because they had no better answer. 50 years ago, menopause was all about valium because a whole lot of middle-aged women were convinced by their doctors that they were hysterical. Fibromyalgia didn't exist 15 years ago; it was psychosomatic. Just because a doctor doesn't find anything wrong by current understanding doesn't automatically mean you've got a mental disorder.

On the other hand, have you ever known anyone who's gone to a psychologist or psychiatrist who's been told "You don't need to come back to see me; you're very well-adjusted"?

I'm not trying to discourage you if you really think that's what you need. Is there someone you can talk with who knows you and your situation well and whose judgement you trust?

The only "gut reaction" I had to the two websites you posted are that the Sonoma facility is JCAHO accredited. If I had to choose one for myself, it would be the one that runs a really tight ship. Also, I believe the JCAHO surveys are public information and may be posted on the internet somewhere.

[Baraka Obam]

Dear tormented Meagan, PLEASE do not cheak into a mental institution, this will do nothing for your health and further the position that you are crazy.

You are not crazy you are ill.

If you were to check into the loony bin they will try only to convince you that you are not sick.

Now my friend is that going to make you feel better or will upset you.

These doctors are morons, thats what we have all had to deal with, please do not get yourself into more troble than you are already in.

Just remeber this, they call them places BUG FACTORIES, do you wonder why, I don't I have to imagine that this disease has been around a mite bit longer than we imagine.

I would almost imagine BUG FACTORY label had somthing to do with people going out of their minds and they were itching.

Ok you need to talk on the phone to some of the people that do not have to many problems. If you would like I will get you a number to call of a woman that is well grounded. It will make you feel better.

[skylark99]

Megan,
It sounds like you are going through a hard time right now, something we can all understand. I am not sure that we are all as strong as we sometimes appear -even the most hearty of us have moments less than optimistic (I suspect). But at least here, there is some recognition of our problems, our shared situation. Together we are stronger than individually.

I also have difficulty swallowing, with food getting stuck in the esophagus; this is very recent. It is painful, and causes my whole diaphram to spasm with pains radiating out through my chest. Yes, it is very scary. I think that this symptom is not psychosomatic --the symptoms themselves suggest a physical cause, and that must show up on any investigative test.

I hope that you will sit on your thoughts about going into a psychiatriac hospital, as sojii suggests. At least consider waiting for the most recent test results and any others that may be ordered for further investigation.

And yes, sojii, I did talk many times with someone from the mental health community. His opinion was that I do have a physical problem, rather than a mental health problem. He does not understand why many doctors have not been more thorough in getting testing done for various symptoms. He asked me to say the following every time any medical doctor suggests that I see the mental health community about my symptoms:
One member of the mental health community has told me to ask you the following question in the event that you suggest that I speak to them about this: Why? Do you think that they have a doctor or dermatologist on staff?

For any lurkers that want to know:
I am unable to delete my account from User Control Panel.
So, you are all stuck with me for the remainder of my tour.

[Bee]

MeaganM, I was like that ! Choked when I ate, something made me swallow To Soon sometime also. Until I did a Colon Cleanse Kit that also pulls mucus from everywhere in your body. I coughed and felt like I was getting a flu and head cold for a short time. But It Fixed Me from that. I think I had Lungworms because I coughed up eggs. Then again if you read about Myiasis there is an Esophagial connection/type.
I also lost 20-25 lbs and weigh 91lbs now. I feel pretty good. I have trouble breathing sometime but I smoke way to much.

If I keep mentioning that colon kit that worked for me I'm gonna look like a walking billboard. So I can't keep mentioning it.

I mentioned it before but there is a horse diease caused by Oppossum parasites called EPT that gets into the horses spine and brain. It does something to the neo system that makes a horse swallow before they are done chewing. Which causes the horse to choke. After awhile scar tissue builds up to where they can no longer swallow at all. I know because I had a horse and a Holistic Vet.

I always said we need a VET not a medical doctor : )

ps: There is way more to that EPT then I just described and that is based on holistic pronoise not a medical Vet which have different opinions about the disease.

[Ghettogirl]

Meagan,
You are at a mother who is very loving, considerate, conscientiousness of her son. I know you are unhappy, but nothing is worst then being away from your children. I know if you had to be apart from your son, and under rules that are not your own, it can be very traumatic for you.
This disease is so incredible, so much crap goes with this, but you are aware that this is what you have, and you have learned so much already, it is a slow process in healing, please don't give up yet.
There is so many of us out here, with the same illness, continue to stand with us, getting up every day and finding a way to feel better, it's all worth it, it's your life.
Please don't give up on yourself, I believe in you. I may not know much about you, but I know how much you love your son. Because of that, I know you have a good heart.
Faith, love and hope... three extremely important words for you to remember.

Ghettogirl