Hi I'm new in town

[tcmgpt13]

kckc, did it ever occur to you that not everyone has cable T.V.? Or knows anything about the show Martin? And that sentence, still looks like you were chiding people because they were not agreeing with everything you or eg have said. So, anyway, how are some of those welcomes working for you now? Saw the warm one you got from another member last night on another thread.

[Enviro Girl]

Does anyone smell the scent of sulfur?

[tcmgpt13]

Originally Posted by Enviro Girl

Does anyone smell the scent of sulfur?

Yes, well now that you mention it, I do and it’s wafting strongly from your direction.

[fracty]

I really admire the new ppl who are able to stick it out and stay here despite the stunningly rude welcomes that often accompany any divergence of opinion. Actually it doesn't even need to be a difference in opinion. I've had MANY, MANY ppl messaging me in tears over the stunning rudeness and negativity encountered, from a very vocal few, when they try to join the group.

Now I'm the next target. But I am so sick of losing valuable new ppl with the outrageously rude things said, not just on the "welcome" threads but in the chat box. (Talk about "mean girls.")

The repeated rude comments, particularly to new ppl reveal the character of those saying them, not the character of the additions.

Once in a leadership training we were divided into small groups and finish a project. Without our knowledge, the instructors planted one person to act as a negative "plant" in each group. It was interesting to see how the negative plant held back the positive progress and experience of the group as a whole. None of the groups accomplished as much as they would have had they not had the rude comments from the plant.

I for one think we need all the new ppl we can get and I want them to know that many of us value them very much. The out of line behavior does not represent the group here as a whole, only a very small, yet loud, few. New ppl, I hope you will stick it out.

[Enviro Girl]

Originally Posted by tcmgpt13

Yes, well now that you mention it, I do and it’s wafting strongly from your direction.

"If I would've wanted to hear from an a$$hole, I'd have farted." Enviro Girl

[tcmgpt13]

Fracty, quite as often it is newcomers who are rude. They refuse to take the time to see what is going on with a forum before joining it, jump in with information which has already been posted, accuse members who have a different view point from theirs of "fighting" (last I heard debate does not equal fighting) and act as if only they, as new members, know anything at all. That in itself is rude to the community already here. BTW, there are quite a few senior members who have left the forum due to the rudeness of some new and old members. I am sick of losing some valuable old members and miss their often witty and intelligent posts. And character is something that I have not seen a lot of from some new members as well.

Forums mean that you have discussions. Discussions often present opposing opinions. If respect is the desired goal then respect must be shown to others. This applies to both sides. No one has all the answers and many find different solutions. There are no absolute truths.

Enviro, I already suspected you had no class, but you just proved it. Just because you are new it does not give you a free pass to be as rude as you want (the sulfur remark and now this one) with no repercussions.

Originally Posted by Enviro Girl

"If I would've wanted to hear from an a$$hole, I'd have farted." Enviro Girl

[fracty]

TCM, I am not talking about debate. I am talking about rude, belittling comments. And you might be surprised to know the rudeness is disturbing to some old time members too. It was not just new ppl who have emailed me in tears over the rude, vicious remarks.

I am very aware you find it offensive when someone brings up a topic that was already discussed. However, it still does not justify the meanness. Besides, the threads here tend to meander off point (this one case in point), sometimes a poster wants to address a different aspect of the topic, sometimes a poster might want to start fresh to keep things concise and current... there are a myriad of reasons.

Just because things are not to one persons wishes does not justify the rudeness. There needs to be some flexibility and respect for others opinions. Even if someone made an "error," a sin against the board that just made you laugh and laugh at them,... let's say maybe he/she started a thread w a topic that was still current in another, it still does not justify the rudeness.

[tcmgpt13]

Fracty, I have noticed that some old members are disturbed by rude comments as many of them were directed at me. I used to try to ignore them. It has been hard to ignore all such comments as ignoring these comments often sees them escalate. Do you actually think that it is okay to imply that someone is evil (you know, the sulfur remark)? Personally I leave judgement to God, but it seems that some people here feel free to make such comments. Even the newcomers. They also feel free, despite knowing nothing about how this forum works, to make assumptions about relationships on it along with making rude remarks about two members. That member and I are hardly friends, and the laughter we were sharing on chat and in the posts was about that fact. Hardly earth shaking but it was hilarious, at least to us. We were laughing about it (it is funny) and not at a person. As Jonsi said the running joke is that this forum has constantly seen shifts in who is friendly with whom. Chat was the first time we have exhanged remarks since that member joined this forum. Early on we did not see eye to eye. We never have.

I never felt the need to run crying to other members about any of this. Mostly it can be ignored, though not always. I think at some point each of us has to stand up for ourselves.

From time to time we also have some members join who try to take over the whole forum, leaving little room for other members to post. Lately the forum has a mostly absent moderator and an absentee administrator. It is bound to happen then that sometimes members will have to say things that ordinarily these people would handle for the forum. There is usually no one here to take off rude remarks or to guide what is happening on the forum. Not an ideal situation at all.

I am not offended by topics which have already been discussed, but I am certainly bored by them, especially as some things are said over and over and not really elucidated upon. There are usually no new insights offered. I am just as free to say this as you are free to say otherwise. This points out the other problem on the forum. Folks do get bent out of shape if anyone offers a different or opposing opinion. That is usually when the rude comments start, though not always.

On the subject of topics and meandering, I find this amusing coming from you, when essentially you told me to shut up (not your words, just the meaning) on your raw food thread. I was not off topic, but you certainly were not having anyone on your thread who did not agree with you or present your point of view.

Speaking of rude, I wonder you were not also upset about the remarks made by yet another member to kckc on Monday evening. I guess not. Funny, how some folks get a pass when they, in the past, have been the meanest and most vicious of all.

Originally Posted by fracty

TCM, I am not talking about debate. I am talking about rude, belittling comments. And you might be surprised to know the rudeness is disturbing to some old time members too. It was not just new ppl who have emailed me in tears over the rude, vicious remarks.

I am very aware you find it offensive when someone brings up a topic that was already discussed. However, it still does not justify the meanness. Besides, the threads here tend to meander off point (this one case in point), sometimes a poster wants to address a different aspect of the topic, sometimes a poster might want to start fresh to keep things concise and current... there are a myriad of reasons.

Just because things are not to one persons wishes does not justify the rudeness. There needs to be some flexibility and respect for others opinions. Even if someone made an "error," a sin against the board that just made you laugh and laugh at them,... let's say maybe he/she started a thread w a topic that was still current in another, it still does not justify the rudeness.

[Enviro Girl]

Fracty, I'm truly sorry to you that you had to come play babysitter.
I tried to be polite, then I tried to ignore, but I'm not the type who's going to sit back and be libeled, without defending myself or those I LOVE.
I get pushed, I push back, harder.
I'm not trashin' anyone else's ways to get better, so back the F off mine. But DON'T attack my still sick friend or my ND for making a CURE - cuz I'd kill for both.
I'll snag your IP address and be calling you at home, from outside your house (let's see how much $hit you can talk with my fist down your throat) - cuz I've had it w/the Morgellon's Reindeer Games.
Ppl need to realize acting like a malignant dbag on the www can have ramifications.

[Sadsack]

EG -

I know you are upset, but this is really out of line. Honestly, it is the harshest post I have ever seen on any board.

Whatever your disagreements are, whether they are valid or not valid, cyberbullying is that last thing we need.

I hope you retract that post.

SS