Hey, my Delusion made a website!

[greent]

It amazes me that i'm sooo delusional that I've influenced all of you that you experience things to. (intense sarcasm)
I can't believe I found this site. I thought I've just been slowly loosing control of my life and my sanity. Things are so bad it takes me forever to pick out pajamas to wear that won't hurt my skin/body so much. I haven't been able to wear jeans or any of my normal clothes since march. everything hurts and nothing fits. It has affected every part of my life. It has even hurt my grades - immensely. I never feel completely well or myself. It started over 1 1/2 years ago, but in march it just got so bad so quickly and has stayed that way.
There are so many things that have happened and so many things that I've kept to myself it's overwhelming to be actually beginning to let some things out into a possible shared outlet for what I've been dealing with which has chipped away and really started to shape a new identity of self- lonely shameful believing i'm just crazy identity.
Just awful.
Sorry for the run on sentences which might not make much sense,
I almost feel like finding this forum is a delusion.
Wow, This really happens to other people?
I still feel like if i just think positive and ignore it it will go away, like i'm causing it somehow.
Oook, i'm done babbling out my racing thoughts.
First timer's gush?

[posey]

Welcome greent and thank you so much for solving the mystery.

That's IT!! This site isn't really here, it's part of my psychotic delusions and all the members here are becasue of some childhood thing.

But, I do not want to lose anyone here so no doctor is going to talk me into Primizide. [ I think that the anti-psychotic drug the derm advised me to take].

The only good thing about this HUGE DELUSION of mine is the "delusion people" I have met. Maybe I had no friends as a child. I may need to get hypnotized to find out.

Putting sillyness aside, I'm glad you found us here. I've been here just past a year and it has been a blessing more than once. I think you will find you will be glad too, because something so bizarre as "M" can make you wonder about yourself. Then just like you were drawn to it, you will read a post that expresses exactly what you have witnessed discovered, felt, etc., and you will know that you are not seeing things and truly are in your right mind.

Glad to "know" you, but wish it were under more pleasant circumstances.

[Dzana]

but majority of us were treated for scabies at the start of this conditon therefore it is doctors who r delusional not patient it is them that saw something that is not there - the dangers of having doctors who r delusional and still practising is one of the reasons why so many r being mistreated and why so many r dieing - does Government care???

[Sadsack]

Oh, Greent -

I'm so sorry you had to suffer so long by yourself. I can't imagine going through this without support or at least validation that this is for real.
Judging from your post, I think you need to go one more step and talk to someone on the phone. PM me if you'd like and I'll be happy to call you.

Stick around - there are many things you can do to reduce your symptoms - including dealing with your clothing.

SS

[carla]

HI Greent.
It couldn't break your spirit anyway .
Hi and welcome to the most wonderful Website in the world.
Your words brought back some raw memories for me.
Feel free to let it all out.You will be amazed how we will know what your talking about .
Carla

[jee]

Hey!
Pull a chair have a seat read LOTS of info.
The doctors was telling me I was delusional when I told him he could not tell me that if he did not do a through examen...

Not delusional Greent...

[KiraErikson]

Originally my HMO doc thought something was wrong with my scalp and referred me to a skin specialist (I first got the Morgellons on my scalp when an overhead plane dusted me with a biological insecticide). The skin specialist was a coward and so afraid of what he saw that he told my HMO that I was cured and refused to see me more than once.

At this point, the Morgellons began exploding and spreading quickly to the rest of my body, creating ugly disfiguring lesions.

Next, my regular HMO doc sent me to a corrupt infectious disease specialist who took one look at me and declared that I was psychotic and self-inflicting my wounds. The disease specialist then called his friend the skin doctor (who I had already filed a complaint against with my insurance company) and my HMO doctor, to tell them this (and he made the phone calls in front of my face). My original HMO doc then said my HMO would now examine me for a mental problem and would be glad to spend multi thousands of dollars to commit me. Needless to say, this made me very paranoid and forced me to keep a very low profile with my HMO.

This also may have stopped the formal complaint I filed about the fact that my medical condition was getting deadly and not being treated. Oddly, I was smart enough to only file a low level complaint and not to request that it be taken to the next level when it was initially rejected. However, I suspect that people in the insurance system who saw my photos were apparently so aghast, that they kept kicking my complaint up to the next administrative level, even when I never requested they do so (which was supposed to be required).

So, moral of the story -- don't ask them to examine you to see if you are delusional. They may find it easier to get the right shrink to see you to declare you delusional, then to deal with a deadly new disease. It was actually funny that my HMO doctor told me she had to search around for awhile just to find a shrink who could diagnose me as delusional.

Fortunately, I have people in high places who know I'm sane. One of them wrote a letter to my HMO doctor. Now, it's as if nothing ever happened. I have largely cured the Morgellons. I used advice from this website, a private doctor, and drugs smuggled in from India (not that the FDA didn't find out, but again, a guardian angel in the FDA simply sent the drugs on with a warning note).

Anyway, the last time I saw the HMO doctor, she had total amnesia about who I was or why I had last seen her to be treated. This despite the fact my medical records have been computerized since my last visit. Even stranger, I'm not angry with my HMO doctor. She did try originally to cure me. Nor did she come up with the idea I was delusional. She was merely tasked with proving it.

So, all of you out there with Morgellons who are being told you're delusional, keep fighting the good fight. If necessary, call on people who knew you before you got Morgellons to sign affidavits that you are sane. We have giant organizations these days (HMOs, insurance companies, corporations, banks) that are no longer responsive to humanity. Still, caught within those organizations are plenty of good people across the world wanting to help. Many of them will mess with the machine for your benefit when they can.

[Kritters]

Actually a very inspiring post! thanks, Kira for that note of positivity and hope!
Kritts