New to posting but I don't know what to do

[pndwhite]

I have had morgellons for 3 years. At the beginning I was pulling colored fibers out of my finger after poking it with a rusty wire brush. I thought maybe the wires broke off inside my finger but they just kept coming for months. My husband got on the internet and found out what it actually was, morgellons. Since then, it has spread and other symptoms appeared. At first, my husband was supportive. He was totally amazed at some of the crap I pulled out of my fingers. Eight years ago, my doctor diagnosed me with narcolepsy (had sleep study done) and put me on adderall. Over the years tolerance level had increased so to date I am on a huge dose. I am able to function, think, work and live a basically normal life (as normal as it can be with morgellons). Recently, my husband and I have had marital problems. He has put the blame on my adderall use stating that it is causing the morgellons. He has given me the alternative of going off it (which would mean my life would be lived through a fog) and trying the drugs Pimozide and Zyprexa or I would have to leave. The farm we live on is being given to him as an inheritance but for the last 18 years I did the majority of upkeep on it. This has been my home and being backed into a corner by adhering to his stipulations is almost too much for me. I feel like he has become a traitor and is trying to say I am psycho due to the adderall causing morgellons. Sob story aside, has anyone tryed these meds and if so, what was the outcome?

[JimDoe]

I,ve personally never heard of or read anywhere about morgs that any meds would cause this.Are you only getting stuff from your fingers. You haven,t mentioned about having any body lessions.If you are only getting fibers from your fingers then I would say your sleep disorder is far worse than the morgs.I have sleep problems but don,t take any meds for it so I can,t really say. Sorry to hear about the family problems. Sounds like he really putting you on the spot and I don,t see a valid reason for it. Good luck. Hope someone here can offer you some useful more advice...
JimDoe

[JimDoe]

Although I did not pay it much attention at first when I read your post but have thought more about the wire brush poking your finger. This may not mean anything. But about 6 months ago I was going to use my cast iron frying and I use it often. There was just a little rust on it. When I picked it up I saw a three inch florence blue fiber on just the rush spot and it was slightly stuck to the rust when I pulled on it. Now about I month ago I go to use my steel cookie sheet it has more rust on it and there are two of the same long fibers attached to just the rust spots. One has a fungal gnat wrapped to the end of it and the other has a dime size leaf with the fiber passing through it.. Maybe Mogs was also present on the rust of you wire brush. I know having the fibers growing from iron and steel in my kitchen really freaked me.

JimD

[jonsi]

pwhite, first of all, welcome, sorry you are going through this.

I believe any pharmaceutical aggravates the Morgellons (GMO food/toxins/pills). I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to find an alternative to the meds you are taking. Homeopathic/natural medicine has worked for me.

JimDoe might be on to something too about the rust. Be careful with what you use to treat yourself.

Peace & love to you,
itwl,
~jonsi

[posey]

Hey Jonsi!!

Sometimes it is impossible to find an alternative to drugs. There is nothing alternative that stops pain which on a pain scale is 8-10 as well as way past 10.

Also, I got to get this off my chest. I could no longer stand the anxiety of living with this illness, nor could I stand the suicidal ideation. I wasn't planning on suicide but it is no fun to feel that way and feeling all that anxiety and feeling like you want to die is not supportive to one's immune system. Some days I would do nothing but sit all day on a wooden dining table chair; afraid to move.

I knew I wasn't psychotic but that isn't going to convince any Dr. Therefore, I took it upon myself to see a psychiatrist in order to prove my credibility to any Dr. who wants to say I am psychotic. I wanted the proof from a professional. Just like I already knew, he told me I was not psychotic and had no signs of psychosis, AND he also said that even if I was psychotic it would be separate of itself and I would have 2 diagnosis: Psychosis and Morgellons. So I have that proof already established. I didn't need it, but hope it might be of help some day.

Anyway, after awhile passed I went back and asked him for something to help me deal with this illness and I am taking Risperadone. It is for Bipolar and I think it is an antipsychotic med also. Before I did this I talked it over with my husband and Church Pastor. Both agreed it was OK with Jesus Christ and it was the thing to do. The Psychiatrist also told me he has another patient just beginning the stages of wondering what is bothering her, such as laundry detergent etc. She does not know yet what is truly going on. This Dr. believes in M.

All I can say is since I began the medicine I am not so awful feeling everyday. Maybe others don't have the enormous anxiety I had or the suicidal ideation feelings, but I could not stand them any longer.

hugs,
posey

[kckc]

Posey,

I was in the same boat... almost exactly....I donot believe in suicide, however, I was at a point where I wanted to put my kids in the car, they have it too, and drive off of a cliff...... that's a hard thing to admit, because that kind of thinking only strengthens the "mentally ill" diagnosis. the same thing with seeing psychiatrist, ... was told I was not mentally ill... but I was willing to try anything to make the anxiety, the constant movement stop.

From my perspective.....my experience... chemical/medications......some seemed to help, some seemed give me relief,........ some seemed like it was killing it. However..... everything did not last forever, and it seemed that when I was finished taking all the meds I was worse off...... so far herbal/natural is actually longest lasting with results of healing... moving forward.

I know how hard this evil is to live with...... and I believe that the LORD knows too, I believe ...whatever helps you.........Thank you Jesus..... you gotta do what gotta do!!!

Love and prayers, kc

[JimDoe]

Keep the faith

[KiraErikson]

I know that taking Ambien and/or my diet pills, causes the Morgellons to become much more powerful and out of control.

I was once part of an Adderall study, so I took heavy daily doses of the drug. At the time I was healthy and didn't have Morgellons. However, the drug made my body very sick and screwed up my immune system. Thus Adderall is probably keeping your body from truly getting the deep sleep it needs to kill the Morgies. Your husband sounds like he is desperately trying to save you.

Morgellons is such an evil affliction because it turns people who love each other against each other (not to mention isolating sufferers and economically destroying them along with their credibility).

[sammy]

I also take ambeian every night or the generic for it maybe if i stop things will improve never thought it might be the culprit.

[schnurj921]

Why does your husband think the adderall caused the morgellons----I too take adderall---and have wondered myself if it is somehow related cause my symptoms began around 6 months after diagnosis of ADD.I also understand how scary the thought of not taking the adderall is---I too believe I could NEVER get through a day without it