freaked out

[ali]

I'm Not Sure Why This Is Happening To Me I'm Really Scared

[carla]

I wish I could say something to make you feel better Ali.
I can only say your not alone and there are ways of getting this under control .
You can pm me if you need to.
carla

[Kritters]

Originally Posted by ali

I'm Not Sure Why This Is Happening To Me I'm Really Scared

Stick with us here, Ali.....don't be afraid. You can pm (send personal message to) me also.

Kritters

[Sadsack]

Ali -
Please tell us more...where are you, how can we help you? We have ALL been there, and you CAN get better - PLEASE don't disappear on us, OK?
SS

[Mat]

I'm feeling very suicidal.

[Sadsack]

Mat -
Been there, often...
Last year, when the thoughts were almost nonstop, the only thing I could do to help get through those times - believe it or not - was to plan my suicide. That's right. I would think about what I needed to take care of before my final exit, when I could do what, etc. Then sometimes I would even write lengthy suicide notes about all this, about Morgellons, and what it has done.
Usually those uncontrollable thoughts would come late at night, and "making plans" would bring enough relief that I could fall asleep. I limped through those months.
I still think - occasionally - that I would welcome death. But the thoughts of actually doing it myself are fairly rare.
Who in their right mind, seeing and experiencing what we do, wouldn't have those thoughts once in awhile? Some are fortunate enough to have supportive family & friends, and enough money to take care of their needs, but they are the minority and still they have fleeting thoughts.
Another strategy you can use is to pick an event in the not too distant future - for the "last day". I have done that many times. Right now, I want to see what the CDC comes out with in January...and then we'll see. Put it off.
Finally, I also think "Is the pain I feel worse than the pain I would inflict on those I love if I killed myself?" The answer is "No" - it is not worse, I can put up with it.
Are you in the US, Mat? Do you have anyone to talk to who understands?
SS

[tcmgpt13]

Matt, please try reaching out for help. The holidays are stressful and often lead many to feelings of deep depression. Here are a couple of old posts with links which may help you to find someone to talk with right now:

The passing of Karen Stern

Originally Posted by Bad_Boy

Hi

Here's one site listing some suicide and crisis hotline numbers, but I haven't checked to see if accurately lists all numbers. It's maintained by a Melody Clark (about the author), and she seems to want people to notify her if the numbers are not current. Hope it helps.

Suicide hotlines:
INTERNATIONAL - World-Wide Suicide & Crisis Hotlines - When You Feel You Can't Go On... Call a Suicide Hotline. / SuicideHotlines.com - Direction for immediate crisis intervention for the gravely suicidal & treatment for major clinical suicidal depre

Take care,
BB

LIFELINE for those in VERY real psychological trouble- totally free!

Originally Posted by EvDownJr

If one wants to make sure confidentiality is not breached, it may be best to contact the Samaritans. This is a UK volunteer society I believe in very much. They have several branches in the USA. Now there's no national toll-free # in the States, however, one can phone one of the branches in the States, I think from anywhere in the country, even though it may be a toll call.

Here are some listings:

Samaritans New York City:

1: (212) 673 3000

Boston Area:

617 247 0220

Rhode Island

(401) 272 4044


One can obtain support via email from anywhere in the world using Email:

jo@samaritans.org





Here's the Website for the root organization in the UK

Talk To Someone



When one mentions the "S" word in the states, sad to say sometimes bells and whistles of feared litigation and "social responsibility" can go off. I know the group above is sworn to confidentiality. This is a safe place to discuss one's concerns without fear.

[Mat]

Originally Posted by Sadsack

Mat -
Been there, often...
Last year, when the thoughts were almost nonstop, the only thing I could do to help get through those times - believe it or not - was to plan my suicide. That's right. I would think about what I needed to take care of before my final exit, when I could do what, etc. Then sometimes I would even write lengthy suicide notes about all this, about Morgellons, and what it has done.
Usually those uncontrollable thoughts would come late at night, and "making plans" would bring enough relief that I could fall asleep. I limped through those months.
I still think - occasionally - that I would welcome death. But the thoughts of actually doing it myself are fairly rare.
Who in their right mind, seeing and experiencing what we do, wouldn't have those thoughts once in awhile? Some are fortunate enough to have supportive family & friends, and enough money to take care of their needs, but they are the minority and still they have fleeting thoughts.
Another strategy you can use is to pick an event in the not too distant future - for the "last day". I have done that many times. Right now, I want to see what the CDC comes out with in January...and then we'll see. Put it off.
Finally, I also think "Is the pain I feel worse than the pain I would inflict on those I love if I killed myself?" The answer is "No" - it is not worse, I can put up with it.
Are you in the US, Mat? Do you have anyone to talk to who understands?
SS

Hi SS, I am in the UK. Since having this disease I have distanced myself from everyone. I went to see a couple of friends the other night and they started itching. I lost my girlfriend because of all this, my job, everything. I have hit a brick wall and do not care much for this world. I have had this affliction for over two years and I cannot cope anymore. I know it sounds weak, but I cannot cope with it all anymore. All I am interested in is the best way to commit suicide.

[Mat]

Thanks for your kind help but my life is over. I have been working it all out for the last two months. I am not attention seeking, I just have to leave. I am in so much trouble. I love people but hate this world. This disease has won. I have been drinking non stop over the last two months trying to cope with this. There is no light in my life anymore.

[Sadsack]

Dear Mat,
I don't want you to kill yourself. I truly understand why you want to, but your fight helps me and others to fight. You absolutely are not alone. I don't know how to help you want to fight for yourself anymore. I don't think anyone can, except your family if they came around.
Please at least contact the Hemlock society.
Also, I am sending you a PM. Please read it, OK?
SS