Why me? | Why not me?

[Knight~Ryder]

Why Me? Why NOT Me?



"God, I’m pretty upset about this Meniere’s thing! Why did you let this happen to me? I need my hearing to be a minister for you. So do something!" Even as I thought that, I knew that life doesn’t work that way just because I want it to. Even preachers get Meniere’s Disease.

"Why me?" Somehow, I never get around to asking that question when I am doing well in life and the profession to which I am called. "Why me?" is a question I never think about when things are going well.

However, "Why me?" was one of the first questions I asked of myself after my doctor told me I was losing hearing in one of my ears and that I would have to contend with dizziness and noise the rest of my life. "Why me? I haven’t done anything. God, why did you let this happen to me?"

I did get pretty angry with God. Fortunately God is big enough to handle it. God lets us express our anger and still stands by for comfort and for strength.

Why me, God?

Why not you? Are you any better than anyone else that you shouldn’t have to face the failure of a part of your body?

Well, of course not, God. You know I’m not any better than anyone else is.

(You got that right, Forrest.)

Uh, yeah. But, God, I didn’t do anything to deserve all this whirling and nausea and losing my hearing and . . .

You think bad things only happen to bad people, that illnesses and diseases are punishments I hand out for doing "bad" things?

No, God, I know better than that. But I just thought this was more than I deserved to have to cope with.

Forrest, are you listening to me? "Deserve" is your word, not mine. Our relationship isn’t based on you being good enough to "deserve" rewarding or being punished if you aren’t good enough. I said that I would be your God and you would be one of my people. That means I’m here, whether your head is full of good thoughts or hung over the edge of the toilet. I’m with you through it all. Remember the night you lay on the floor between the bedroom and the bathroom? I was with you then.

I thought that was my wife, Mary, who held me.

She did hold you, but I was there with her and with you. Do you think you’re the only one affected by this?

She needed me too; she was scared!

So what am I supposed to DO?

You’re not supposed to DO; you’re supposed to BE. Be who you are meant to be. Are you going to let noise in your head and twirling in your stomach make you someone different from who you already are? Someone different from the person whom I know you are capable of being? I’m with you and I’ll help you get through it all.

My conversation with God didn’t stop there. It is still going on as I try to live with MM as a fact of every day life. And live with it I do because it is a part of who I am.

Why me? Why NOT me? It can happen to anybody. And it doesn’t have anything at all to do with faith or lack of faith or goodness or lack of goodness. MM just happens.

(Why it happens to anybody at all is a completely different question. I’ll try to talk about that one of these days, too -- at least from the point of view of theology. But I’ll hold that for another time.)
Grace and peace to you, my friends!


Source: Meniere's Ministry - Spiritual Support for those who have Meniere's Disease (Morbus Meniere) and those who love them.

[carla]

Consider it lucky KR. You haven't got Morgellons .

[jonsi]

Hi carla,

Doesn't kr believe he does have morgellons and was recently diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease (?).

I think he copied this "Why me?/why not me?" to share with us.

I don't know!!! I looked at some of KR's old posts and he does talk about experiencing Morgellons symptoms.



In the white light,
~jonsi

[carla]

I know that Jonsi.It 's my weird sense of humour again . KR knows I m only joking .I hope he does anyway. I did think he said he didn't have Morgs anyway.
carla xx

[Knight~Ryder]

I don't know what I had before. All I know is that for 3 years I dealt with those stupid bites everyday and then they would be itchy and gloss over. Some bites would be big enough to have some blood drip down.

Once I moved from the apartment it settled down.
But all my symptoms started then.
I still don't know what I have. I am still searching. ENT appointment on the 20th.

I posted this to share with you all because I care.

[jonsi]

Carla, lol

KR~I'll be thinking of you on Monday the 20th! I hope you get some answers.

In the white light,
~jonsi