Discovery - Confusion - Fear

[linnysue]

Perhaps I should stop examining my skin so much. I am getting increasingly upset from my findings. This morning for the first time I found a clump of twisted black thread and what appeared to be inside was another thread that was red. This is the first time I saw any other color besides the black. Again, I can only see this detail with a 30x pocket scope. On the top of my left foot where the trouble spot is, it looks as though I have scratches. I feel as though I have fiberglass stuck within the skin.

Some fears:

• I’ve been dealing with a resistant strain of scabies for 17 months for lack of any adequate diagnosis. Possibly I kept this terrible strain of scabies at bay with the tea tree oil, and now they’ve become super resistant and I can’t hold them off any longer.

• I will not regain my health with normal skin and a normal life again.

• I won't ever be able to be intimate with my incredible husband again.

• I will remain in a state of depression.

• I won’t find the medical help I need.
  

I so desperately desire to become the happy, vibrant, humorous person I once was.

Yesterday, the teacher I work with along with our principal, modified my schedule to shorten my day. I will only work from 8:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. instead of 8- 3. I told them that I start to begin to go downhill both physically and mentally around 12:00. The blessing is that they both believe me. The teacher I work with knows how much I've been suffering for these 17 months. She believes me regarding the possibility that I may be dealing with Morgellons. She's not afraid to hug me.

Bubba and friends, thanks for all your support and help. You are all like my lifeline right now.

Best regards,
Linda P.
[/list]

[linnysue]

Thanks, bubba. I did call the one doctor on the list you emailed me. He's the one closest to where I live. His RN is screening potential candidates for patients right now. There are around 20 calls she needs to make ahead of mine, so the receptionist said I should hear from her next week some time.

Hopefully, I'll get in to see him.

[jano]

Hi Linda - I have to echo what Bubba has said, and in my own way, share with you what I have done.

First off, to me it sounds like you have morgellons (on a positive note, at least the doctors were/are attempting to treat you and tell you that you are doing this to yourself).

I TOTALLY believe we will ALL regain our health from this and have the ability to have absolutely BEAUTIFUL skin again. My skin that hasn't been hit by this looks pretty darn good for a 53 year old gal. I truly, truly, truly believe that a cure will be found. There are so many products on the market now for scars, wrinkles, etc. and ya know, alot of them work pretty darn good. Plastic Surgery for scar revisions is always a possiblity and that part isn't that expensive like a face lift would be.

The intimacy part? Bubba is right that the precautions, cleansing etc should be taken now that we are aware of this disease. But I have to tell you something, I am going on 11 years with this - I dated ALOT (no I'm not a "HO" ), but nobody that I ever dated, or was intimate with has this. Nor do my kids or grandkids. My daughters, oldest grandson and son-in-law all lived with me for 3 years - after that time even when they didn't live with me, I had my grandsons to care for when they were all at work. I look at it this way, if it was terribly contagious, nobody would go out into public. And if it was THAT contagious, a gazillion people would have it by now.

I so understand the depression part, but ya know, I don't dote on this, dwell on this because that isn't going to make it go away. I kind of liken it to dust mites. Have you ever seen those shows that show what they look like and how many are in the common household? YUK. But we have all been living with them since birth and we are still here. Don't let this disease get the best of you - there are SO many treatment steps that Bubba has posted that truly work - they are cheap and they make me feel like I AM WINNING! Sometimes it seems slowly, but I didn't get this overnight either.

It sounds like you have found a doctor - that speaks volumes. GOOD for you! I have a very supportive doctor too. She isn't well versed in this but she does truly try to help and provide support.


You will become the person you were. Actually with adversity, comes character - you will become a more rounded, worldly, wise person because of this. And if you can find the humor in small things, you are on your way!!!!

God Bless you!!!!!!

[nadie]

Well said bubba, I wish that I ran into you when I first found out what was going on with me and about Morgellons.
It could of saved a lot of wear and tear on me.

Nadie

[ladycolorado]

• Originally Posted by linnysue

  Perhaps I should stop examining my skin so much. I am getting increasingly upset from my findings. This morning for the first time I found a clump of twisted black thread and what appeared to be inside was another thread that was red. This is the first time I saw any other color besides the black. Again, I can only see this detail with a 30x pocket scope. On the top of my left foot where the trouble spot is, it looks as though I have scratches. I feel as though I have fiberglass stuck within the skin.
  
  Some fears:
  

  • I’ve been dealing with a resistant strain of scabies for 17 months for lack of any adequate diagnosis. Possibly I kept this terrible strain of scabies at bay with the tea tree oil, and now they’ve become super resistant and I can’t hold them off any longer.

  • I will not regain my health with normal skin and a normal life again.

  • I won't ever be able to be intimate with my incredible husband again.

  • I will remain in a state of depression.

  • I won’t find the medical help I need.
    

  
  I so desperately desire to become the happy, vibrant, humorous person I once was.
  
  Yesterday, the teacher I work with along with our principal, modified my schedule to shorten my day. I will only work from 8:00 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. instead of 8- 3. I told them that I start to begin to go downhill both physically and mentally around 12:00. The blessing is that they both believe me. The teacher I work with knows how much I've been suffering for these 17 months. She believes me regarding the possibility that I may be dealing with Morgellons. She's not afraid to hug me.
  
  Bubba and friends, thanks for all your support and help. You are all like my lifeline right now.
  
  Best regards,
  Linda P.

linny just wanted to say i have shared all of your fears and concerns. but what bubba has posted afterwards is true.my daughter i sent away, i did the right thing because for her she was showing signs of this but she is visiting today and remains well, thank god for that. i do need to decontaminate this place, but hubbie has spoken with a friend, and eventually will get help sulphuring this place, most likely with charcoal disks and of course exercising caution. (yes folks, i hope to kill this stuff lurking in the vents too). i do not have faith in pesticides for this. and if i am at all uscessful will have to be a very thourough application, because i will only have one shot. i have cleaned periodically, at least try to have a cleanroom, but hubbie visiting has pigged up this room again. so i will clean it up.as far as worries about hubbie i have been intimate with him he is ok.he had one very minor outbreak of lice long ago, but i guess not enough to grab hold. shortly before lice had wanted a haircut, and was angry when i had made him look like a bootcamp guy. but i did good thing at time, i think. the only concern i have with my kids is if they do not check heads oover there and they bring back lice again. not necessarily for myself, but for them because in my mind takes two things:some kind of insect vector contaminated, and the contaminants themselves. just my opinion. if want to safeguard hubbie, have him do internal regimine and baths. i wish you all the best. we will fight and live, and eventually have a better standard of living. despite what has happened to me, i have many good days now, and i have hope thanks to all in here.

[curious]

I have been treated for the past two months for a stubborn scabies (lindane). It does seem to help for a few days and has reduced the stinging. I have used a total of 15 insecticide bs, dozens of cans of lice spray, lice mite and flea powder and bathe in nix. It seems to help for a while.

My doctor didn't want to see the little black thread tangles I find each morning on my sheets or the granules I find on my skin. I've looked at them under a 30x microscope. Three days ago, while trying to identify which kind of mite I might have, I came across Morgellon's pix.

I am terrified and depressed. For two days, I've looked at every site/image I can find and I've been afraid.

I know of no doctor around who I can go to. I don't know where to get any medicine. I have no idea where I will live, because I rent an apartment in a house and I will be put out if I really have this.

Does anyone know of a doctor in the midwest area?

[jano]

Welcome to the forum, curious. I have had this for 11 years now and had seen many doctors and had the same reaction as you when I would show them the fibers. I am now seeing a dermatologist who is willing to work with me on this. I have to tell you that I was absolutely thrilled when I first saw a newspaper article on this in the Minneapolis Star Tribune that a freind had seen and cut out for me. I made me feel vindicated and comforted to know that there are others out there who have this. I am the only one in my family who has this - my children and grandchildren had lived with me for a number of years and I dated quite a bit. It seems to be attracted to those who have a challenged immune system.

One thing I will tell you and that the treatment steps that Bubba has listed in this site, along with the newly discovered DSP lotion, I have had more positive results than anything any doctor has done for me (I even went to the Mayo Clinic).

I believe some of the treatment steps listed were recommended by a doctor and some have been discovered by others to have brought relief from this.

The bottom line is that anything that Bubba has posted here has validity to it. She knows what she is doing when she posts here and has spent tons of her own money in trying different products and researching to tackle this disease.

You will find the most supportive, kind and caring people here that you can ask questions, vent and just plain talk to. We are all in this together.

God Bless!!!

[curious]

Thanks so much.

First, I went to an outpatient facility and a doctor there gave me 5 per cent permethrin (elimimite?). He glanced at me and wouldn't look at my crystalline or the little fiber clumps mostly from my bed, but occasionally I find on on my skin.My GP just glanced at my back and shoulders and gave me a prescription for lindane. I've used it four times now with a little success.

I must have had this severe itching for about three months I guess. No one living in the house (on a different floor with separate entrance etc.) has had any problems either, nor has any of the people I work with. Luckily I live alone. Is it safe for me to go to an exercise center or to a pub to watch football?

Thanks.

[ladycolorado]

hi curious, ive only been ill since september of last year. you are at the right place, and you are no longer alone. yes, finding good medical care can be costly or impossible to find at first, but don't give up bubba's regimine will help you. the cumin i posted will help with many things. put a tsp of cumin (the regular green kind into broth and drink twice daily. i no longer have the brainfog or depression anymore, can eat no abdominal pain, no dizziness or neurological symptoms.also reduces joint pain. do her regimeine and try this, will help you alot mexican cumin can find in the mexican ailse i use the powder is very cheap. DO NOT SEEK DERMATOLOGISTS, they are the worst docs to consult. try to find an IALDS doctor, as in may cases this disease is related to lymes disease, or perhaps a chronic disease clinic which sees more than the everyday illnesses. there may be no cure, but life CAN be managable once again, and you can keep yourself whole. hope this helps

[ladycolorado]

Originally Posted by curious

Thanks so much.

First, I went to an outpatient facility and a doctor there gave me 5 per cent permethrin (elimimite?). He glanced at me and wouldn't look at my crystalline or the little fiber clumps mostly from my bed, but occasionally I find on on my skin.My GP just glanced at my back and shoulders and gave me a prescription for lindane. I've used it four times now with a little success.

I must have had this severe itching for about three months I guess. No one living in the house (on a different floor with separate entrance etc.) has had any problems either, nor has any of the people I work with. Luckily I live alone. Is it safe for me to go to an exercise center or to a pub to watch football?

Thanks.

i too, was at first afraid to be around folks i touched no one for three months. i believe takes more than one thing to become like us, or the whole world would be infected by now. i am the only one infected, hubbie fine, kids fine, i belive takes an insect vector (possibly with disease in it) and contaminants to try to grab hold. insect vector, the immune sytem must be very low and then an agent of the disease introduced. i do not belive this disease is passed person to person, but via insect, disease contaminants,a possible wound or infection, and also person with suseptible genetics is vulnerable to disease. my theory anyway. it is like a big allergic reaction to me, to things which do not bother most. here is my advice from experience: do not unessarily isolate yourself, this is very unhealthy. i have friendships now and feeling much better, than to isolate oneself from others and only dwell on the negative. as for famillies with this, i think ones effected were exposed to same multiple factors, and genetics made vulnerable to being infected. true, i am no scientist, but my opinion. i have spent tireless hours of research on this subject. like i stated if contagious because of only one factor, the whole world or a vast majority would be ill, since this stuff has been around for at least twenty years. be involved in your world, and know we care. p.s. i have spent time in a bar before watching t.v. on many a night when bored, no one is ill. so have some assurance in this