99percentcertain

okay...so here's the story ... of a lovely lady ... who grew up to live an exceptional life .... then one day ... in 2003 ..... she began to no longer be the me in she....

15 doctors later, more lotions, potions, pills, psychtrophic drugs, fungal external and internal medicine, innumerable hours of research, diagnosis of delutional parisitosis over and over (how many people have to tell you you're crazy b/f you believe them)...all of this transpiring while my then strong, 6' tall, toned body (and I was really vain) turned into a lesion battlefield and pain minefield that lasts through today. Little bites started out on my neck (in the back - and my neck is long) turned into oozing sores unable to heal, moved to my left arm, then my right, down my back, onto my legs. The incessant itching of skin and then itching and intense pain of the lesions (that take up to a year to heal) created long, jagged scars all over my arms, back of neck, legs, upper back. The pain associated with the sores sometimes unbearable. When in the shower (that's a nightmare even today) I simply screamed very loudly and then broke down in tears due to the medical pain and emotional repercussions.

That was almost 8 years ago -there has been a steady downward spiral in the battle between me and my body. My body is winning. It's breaking down more. I continue to have open sores, pain, now have neuropathy in limbs, have been diagnosed as borderline type 2 diabetic, and am so utterly exhausted ALL the time I can only work when I can (does that make sense). The odd thing is, I DON'T have any fibers that I can at least see; I do see and find little black granules on occasion - but no fibers. Does that mean that I don't have Morgellons?

The reason I write this post is b/c if I don't get the sores to close and begin to at least be able to return to a minimal state of being in the VERY NEAR future anywhere close to the former joyful, quirky, fun-loving, laughing, confident woman I once was, I'm not sure I can push on.

A former full time professional with lots of money in the bank, a home on the water (in Florida - next to wetlands....) and a man I loved, I now live in a one bedroom apt. in a different state, haven't got much money, no health insurance, and am beginning to believe that maybe the life I lived pre-2003, is the life I should have lived and it's time to move on. I push forward every day but it gets harder and harder b/c I need medical help SO BADLY. I'm a bright, educated, 54 year old woman who has always been self sufficient and I'm reaching out b/c I am essentially attempting last efforts to find help and wellness without money (that's pretty funny....)

Please let me know if any of you know of resources in the Tulsa OK area where I can see a physician who even kind of gets this illness (and will do so without fee or for a very minimal fee - I don't hold out much hope for this....)

There's so much more, but my life has been so wildly unbelievable, i'm not certain anyone would believe me. It's so important to me that you realize I'm not a nut-job or crazy. I'm a really decent human looking to find out how to get back into life.

In advance, thanks for any information. What I've found to-date as "medications" that "cure" Morgellons are questionable, odd lotions and potions that might/might not work and I'm simply not comfortable with taking that route.

Your responses may restore some semblance of belief in humanity and life itself. So to any or you who respond, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

okay...so here's the story ... of a lovely lady ... who grew up to live an exceptional life .... then one day ... in 2003 ..... she began to no longer be the me in she....

15 doctors later, more lotions, potions, pills, psychtrophic drugs, fungal external and internal medicine, innumerable hours of research, diagnosis of delutional parisitosis over and over (how many people have to tell you you're crazy b/f you believe them)...all of this transpiring while my then strong, 6' tall, toned body (and I was really vain) turned into a lesion battlefield and pain minefield that lasts through today. Little bites started out on my neck (in the back - and my neck is long) turned into oozing sores unable to heal, moved to my left arm, then my right, down my back, onto my legs. The incessant itching of skin and then itching and intense pain of the lesions (that take up to a year to heal) created long, jagged scars all over my arms, back of neck, legs, upper back. The pain associated with the sores sometimes unbearable. When in the shower (that's a nightmare even today) I simply screamed very loudly and then broke down in tears due to the medical pain and emotional repercussions.

That was almost 8 years ago -there has been a steady downward spiral in the battle between me and my body. My body is winning. It's breaking down more. I continue to have open sores, pain, now have neuropathy in limbs, have been diagnosed as borderline type 2 diabetic, and am so utterly exhausted ALL the time I can only work when I can (does that make sense). The odd thing is, I DON'T have any fibers that I can at least see; I do see and find little black granules on occasion - but no fibers. Does that mean that I don't have Morgellons?

The reason I write this post is b/c if I don't get the sores to close and begin to at least be able to return to a minimal state of being in the VERY NEAR future anywhere close to the former joyful, quirky, fun-loving, laughing, confident woman I once was, I'm not sure I can push on.

A former full time professional with lots of money in the bank, a home on the water (in Florida - next to wetlands....) and a man I loved, I now live in a one bedroom apt. in a different state, haven't got much money, no health insurance, and am beginning to believe that maybe the life I lived pre-2003, is the life I should have lived and it's time to move on. I push forward every day but it gets harder and harder b/c I need medical help SO BADLY. I'm a bright, educated, 54 year old woman who has always been self sufficient and I'm reaching out b/c I am essentially attempting last efforts to find help and wellness without money (that's pretty funny....)

Please let me know if any of you know of resources in the Tulsa OK area where I can see a physician who even kind of gets this illness (and will do so without fee or for a very minimal fee - I don't hold out much hope for this....)

There's so much more, but my life has been so wildly unbelievable, i'm not certain anyone would believe me. It's so important to me that you realize I'm not a nut-job or crazy. I'm a really decent human looking to find out how to get back into life.

In advance, thanks for any information. What I've found to-date as "medications" that "cure" Morgellons are questionable, odd lotions and potions that might/might not work and I'm simply not comfortable with taking that route.

Your responses may restore some semblance of belief in humanity and life itself. So to any or you who respond, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.