Funny quotes

[Janice]

"I am just trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." ~ Author Unknown

[Janice]

"A lot of fellows these days have a B.A., M.D., or a Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B." ~ Fats Domino

[Janice]

1. Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.

[Janice]

Please jump in and add yours...

[Janice]

*Mobster quotes to the press

Quotes from Joseph Valachi

“You can imagine my embarrassment when I killed the wrong guy.”

[JimDoe]

First off,I never really said all those things I said and if you come to a fork in the road take it anyway, you may need it at the next restaurant.
A plug nickle just ain,t worth a dime no more.
A penny for your thoughts plus your two cents if you,re right.
Make sure you go to all your friends funerals or they won,t go to yours.
Only half the lies they told about me were true.
It ain,t really over till its over and then its just like deja-vu all over again.
The future just ain,t what it used to be.
Those dang towels at the last hotel were so thick I could hardly close my suitcase and never take the light bulbs they rattle on the way out.
There are some people on this board that if they don,t already know you sure can,t tell them.
Most of my mistakes in life were just plain wrong.
He must have said that before he died.
You better laugh or I,ll start it all over again.
If you order a pizza and are not really hungry don,t cut it, anyone can always eat one piece.
A person can observe a lot just by looking.
If I,d had only won you wouldn,t have.
If a poor man loses a hundred dollars I,ll be sure and return it.
I knew I was about to hop on the wrong bus, thats why I left early.
If you can,t copy me at least don,t imitate me.
Never swim at high tide, it will always take you back where you came from.
Don,t call me between noon and four thats when I take my one hour nap. Hello!
I broke every record I ever owned.
If its broke hurry up and fix it. If it ain,t broke hurry up and fix it anyway, you know if will just break all over again.
I know we,re going the wrong way but at least we,re making great time.
Never buy expensive luggage, its only used when you travel.
Never let the other side win, they,ll just make trouble for you.
And finally;
WRITTING this was only 99% mental and the other half was physical.

Yogi Beara

[JimDoe]

Where I,m from when one gets so drunk they can,t sing in the car we make them drive.

[JimDoe]

Another great thread starter Janice. Thank you.