I'm looking for personal support

[beverlybdmd]

I'm looking for support during a major life crisis.
Tomorrow I am going to go consult a lawyer (finally) to file for divorce, and prepare to move out and separate from my eventually-to-be ex-husband (of 23 years!) This has been a second marriage; the first was VERY short and bitter, so I have already have some idea of what lies in store for me. I have postponed this moment for as many years as I possibly could, because I feared it so greatly; and what the stress of the change and turmoil would do to me in my state of poor health. However, I hope that I am strong enough to face all that these challenges will bring if I can have some help and support from some of you wonderful folks, during this terrible time for me.

I am having a difficult time taking good care of myself--I can't do the laundry as often as I need to (It bothers my husband when he's home, because it is next to HIS room.) or use the cleaning products that I need to, because of the way that they smell, and I am so stressed that I forgot to go to my doctor's appointment yesterday. Now, I will need to figure out how to find the energy to clean this place out and start over--But, it is high time for that.

In some ways, It is alot like the rest of this illness for me. Very difficult to recover, unless you bag up and get rid of all the garbage that has been eating at you. Why am I keeping all those papers and clothes??? Do I WANT to be bitten , stung, and fatigued? And why did I want to stay in a marriage with someone I haven't had sex with in 5 years, who treats me like an irresponsible, untrustworthy, but beloved child? My grown children are only surprised that I have waited so long! But it will be a hard adjustment for ME. I will need ALL the help I can get not to totally spiral into complete depression. I often think it would be easier to die, than divorce, at my age and state of health, etc. AS ALL of us have at some time or other--but then I try very hard to think of why that should NOT be true in the LONG term.
I have invited my oldest & dearest friend to come and stay with me for a few weeks to help me prepare to move out. And to cheer me up. I am really hoping that she will come.

Luckily, I need to run, now, and go help with my Girl Scout troop--THAT is a real cheerful "pick-me-up" and will get me out of my funk for a while and tire me out. I am NOT sleeping good right now, so I will be back on-line late at nights, for a while out here on the West Coast!! Thanks, for giving me a place to cry & vent, I love you guys,
-Beverly

[beverlybdmd]

I'm looking for support during a major life crisis.
Tomorrow I am going to go consult a lawyer (finally) to file for divorce, and prepare to move out and separate from my eventually-to-be ex-husband (of 23 years!) This has been a second marriage; the first was VERY short and bitter, so I have already have some idea of what lies in store for me. I have postponed this moment for as many years as I possibly could, because I feared it so greatly; and what the stress of the change and turmoil would do to me in my state of poor health. However, I hope that I am strong enough to face all that these challenges will bring if I can have some help and support from some of you wonderful folks, during this terrible time for me.

I am having a difficult time taking good care of myself--I can't do the laundry as often as I need to (It bothers my husband when he's home, because it is next to HIS room.) or use the cleaning products that I need to, because of the way that they smell, and I am so stressed that I forgot to go to my doctor's appointment yesterday. Now, I will need to figure out how to find the energy to clean this place out and start over--But, it is high time for that.

In some ways, It is alot like the rest of this illness for me. Very difficult to recover, unless you bag up and get rid of all the garbage that has been eating at you. Why am I keeping all those papers and clothes??? Do I WANT to be bitten , stung, and fatigued? And why did I want to stay in a marriage with someone I haven't had sex with in 5 years, who treats me like an irresponsible, untrustworthy, but beloved child? My grown children are only surprised that I have waited so long! But it will be a hard adjustment for ME. I will need ALL the help I can get not to totally spiral into complete depression. I often think it would be easier to die, than divorce, at my age and state of health, etc. AS ALL of us have at some time or other--but then I try very hard to think of why that should NOT be true in the LONG term.
I have invited my oldest & dearest friend to come and stay with me for a few weeks to help me prepare to move out. And to cheer me up. I am really hoping that she will come.

Luckily, I need to run, now, and go help with my Girl Scout troop--THAT is a real cheerful "pick-me-up" and will get me out of my funk for a while and tire me out. I am NOT sleeping good right now, so I will be back on-line late at nights, for a while out here on the West Coast!! Thanks, for giving me a place to cry & vent, I love you guys,
-Beverly

[carla]

Bev,
I`m here for you.I am in the same sort of situation as youI`ll post more when I am alone.
Carla

[carla]

Bev,
I`m here for you.I am in the same sort of situation as youI`ll post more when I am alone.
Carla

[Tootsie]

I'm so sorry to hear that Beverly! i know it must be a very scary and painful process . I'm here for you too. Ive had alot of heartbreaks in my life and one divorce so I really do know what your going through.

i do believe in time you will become stronger and more independent than you ever thought possible and you will at some point know your husband has kept you from your full potential as a person.

New doors and experiences will open for you and your heart WILL heal in time.
Hugs Frisk

[Tootsie]

I'm so sorry to hear that Beverly! i know it must be a very scary and painful process . I'm here for you too. Ive had alot of heartbreaks in my life and one divorce so I really do know what your going through.

i do believe in time you will become stronger and more independent than you ever thought possible and you will at some point know your husband has kept you from your full potential as a person.

New doors and experiences will open for you and your heart WILL heal in time.
Hugs Frisk

[redibooks]

Beverly,

I wish you strength and relief as shed this old skin and move on to a new part of your life. The stress of an unhappy marriage can't help your health and immune system. I was divorced in 2004 and have some idea of the emotion and difficulties you may face. You are well respected here and, not to speak for anybody else, but I'm sure you'll have the support of your m-d-r family.

If I can ever be of any support, feel free to email or message me.



karen

[redibooks]

Beverly,

I wish you strength and relief as shed this old skin and move on to a new part of your life. The stress of an unhappy marriage can't help your health and immune system. I was divorced in 2004 and have some idea of the emotion and difficulties you may face. You are well respected here and, not to speak for anybody else, but I'm sure you'll have the support of your m-d-r family.

If I can ever be of any support, feel free to email or message me.



karen

[jano]

Bev, Absolutely, You have our support. I have been through two divorces - been single for 12 years and I have grown to be the happiest that I have ever been. I am very greatful that I have my children and grandchildren. I have just figured I attract the wrong people. I dated plenty, had fun up until 5 years ago when this morgellons just seemed to get worse. But ya know, I have to say, at this point in my life, my freinds mean more to me than a date. I think I had told you once before, that there is a group of us "Divorced Grandmas" - 6 of us total (I am the youngest at 53 - the ages go up to 62). They are all very pretty, intelligent, fun women. We celebrate the lives and families that we have, share funny stories about dates and of course we do look at men (we're not dead!). I figure if I meet someone that is right for me, so be it but I am going to enjoy what I have and feel pretty darn good about that.

I KNOW you will perservere and come out happier and probably healthier. I am available ANY time via email or a phone call. You are a beautiful, smart young woman!!!!!!

[jano]

Bev, Absolutely, You have our support. I have been through two divorces - been single for 12 years and I have grown to be the happiest that I have ever been. I am very greatful that I have my children and grandchildren. I have just figured I attract the wrong people. I dated plenty, had fun up until 5 years ago when this morgellons just seemed to get worse. But ya know, I have to say, at this point in my life, my freinds mean more to me than a date. I think I had told you once before, that there is a group of us "Divorced Grandmas" - 6 of us total (I am the youngest at 53 - the ages go up to 62). They are all very pretty, intelligent, fun women. We celebrate the lives and families that we have, share funny stories about dates and of course we do look at men (we're not dead!). I figure if I meet someone that is right for me, so be it but I am going to enjoy what I have and feel pretty darn good about that.

I KNOW you will perservere and come out happier and probably healthier. I am available ANY time via email or a phone call. You are a beautiful, smart young woman!!!!!!