The Miracle of Toilet Paper

[MeToo]

Litmus test. Hmm, blue or pink?

Why Men are Like Computers:
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter

Why Women are like Computers:
10. You find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
9. They never do what you expect them to do.
8. Once you get one, you can't do without one
7. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
6. They're high maintenance
5. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
4. When two of them to get together, non one else understands what they're saying.
3. Once you commit to one, you realize if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.
2. You do the same thing for years and suddenly it's wrong.
1. When you are, at last, sure that they will do what you wanted, they go off and do something else.

[MeToo]

I'd link this, but unfortunately 15's the magic number:

Originally Posted by beverlybdmd

*~*My Computer*~*

My computer is a MAGICAL BOX !

There are wonderful, happy things inside it.

Sometimes, when I open my computer
I find out that you have been to visit me,
And sent me something special to remember you by.

And, sometimes, you are still THERE, when I open my computer!

Even my childhood friends drop by now and then to say “hi!”
And some of them I haven’t seen in twenty-five years.

All my favorite photos of family, friends, pets, trips, and vacations
Are inside folders on my computer where I can look through them.

Anytime I have a question about something, someone, or someplace,
I always ask My Computer first, and read up about it “on the web.”

My Computer will play with me whenever I want,
any time of the day or night.

I can talk around the world on my computer.
I can talk to my oldest friends,
I can talk to my dearest friends,
I can talk to my family.
I can talk to YOU!

It instantly keeps my memories at the click of a button,
And then instantly finds them with the click of another.

What could BE MORE *MAGICAL* than that?

[MeToo]

A guy's going on a business trip and he has to take his secretary with him, and she's really crazy about him. The first night on the Amtrak, she's in the top bunk and he's in the bottom bunk. She says, "Mr. Forsythe! Mr. Forsythe! I'm chilly! I think I need a blanket!" He says, "Miss Schmitt, how'd you like to pretend you're *Mrs.* Forsythe for a little while? She says, "Oh, I'd like that." He says, "Then get you own damn blanket." --baloneymobile.com/29jokes2.html

[tcmgpt13]

Be sure to start from the top of the thread with Jonsi's post...if you want a good laugh.

Anyway, maybe this thread would be the best place to park (hmm) toilet humor rather than messing up regular threads?

This section of the forum is for relaxing and hangin' out. Maybe one of the old threads already here will serve or maybe you would like to start a new one. Up to you after you kick back and relax.

[Pollyringworm]

Originally Posted by Kritters

Jonsi,

You think you have problems...........

I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have even done it
myself a couple times unintentionally...but this one is real, and it's
important. So please send this warning to everyone on your e- mail
list..

If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks
due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance
around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only
want to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

Kritters ;-)

Just think, if we did get naked, we'd ensure no more solicitations for the rest of our lives. That's better than the do not call list!

[Pollyringworm]

Well this one actually happened to my son.

He and two other friends were at a very loud party where they had to yell to be heard. My son turns to his friend and says, "Hey, there's Wendy!" His friend responds, "No, it's Thursday!" and the third friend says, "Me, too! Let's go get some punch!"

[Pollyringworm]

I thought I'd tell you all the origin of my name on here. It has nothing to do with fungus or morgellons.

My mom passed away back in 2004 and I miss her very much.

Back when I was a teenager(late 80s, early 90s) Molly ringwald was a popular actress. And as much as she was on tv and in the movies, my mom couldn't remember her name. This is how Molly ringwald became Polly ringworm in my house. I use it because it makes me remember my mom and smile.

[jonsi]

LOL! Polly, Thursday Can't make that stuff up. Thanks for the laugh!

Tcm, thanks for the reminder of this thread. I need to post some new jokes.

Itwl,
~jonsi

[treebill14]

Just remember, FUnny beats nice!