In pain and looking for answers

[BeccaB]

Hi Everyone,

I am new to the boards and wanted to say hello! I know most of you have been dealing with this disease for long enough that you have probably heard it all! I believe that I share many of the symptoms of Morgellons (i.e. severe itching, crawling, biting sensations -- both on and under the skin; slow healing lesions, hordes of wiry black threads, tiny black specks and hard white granules emerging from skin). I started rubbing Eucerin cream on the sores for hours until my skin was practically rubbed raw....but "stuff" just kept coming out...layer after layer. But, I could never seem to get to the bottom....there seemed to be some sort of object deeply embedded in my skin...and it was very painful to try to extract it. I saw only a few thread like fibers. But they were there too. I can feel something moving around under my skin..sometimes biting me -- during a Salt bath it got worse, almost like these bugs (or whatever they are) were "mad" at me.... has anyone else experienced that? Also, when I would extract one lesion, other areas on my body seemed to respond, as if these parasites were communicating with one another.

I also have been experiencing blurred vision, ringing in my ears and horrible joint pain in ankles, hands and arms. I have sore hard nodules on the joints of my fingers and my hands constantly tremble. I feel like a crippled old woman who can hardly move sometimes. I am weak and tired all the time and have a lot of head aches.

I had shingles about 10 years ago and was diagnosed with Lyme 5 years ago and was treated with only a two week cycle of Dioxcycline (sp?) and thought I was completely well. Then a few months ago I contracted swine flu and was incredibly ill. The Morgellons/Lyme symptoms began soon after.

I am not sure what is Lyme and what is Morgellons or if they are one and the same. I do not understand the connection between the two. I do know there is some sort of auto-immune factor at play and have had other auto-immune issues and anemia in my past.

I also have seen a live black bug crawl out of my ear, and have found several tiny white bugs on my face. My back is covered in scratches and bites. I have only been to one doctor who said it was no way Scabies or Bed bug bites....and thought I was simply anxious and delusional. It doesn't help that two years ago I did suffer from acute anxiety and depression, so the Dr. assumes I am just crazy. I have been on Zoloft and Wellbutrin for past two years and until now, have been calm and happy -- so it is hard to believe that this is some new manifestation of my mental issues.

Two days ago I got some relief by taking a long hot bath in Johnson's Food powder (Borax) and epsom salts. Afterwards, while still wet, I slathered on Ben-Gay for my aching muscles and it burned like nothing I have ever felt. It was very intense and I was shivering cold...but about ten minutes later 90% of the itching was GONE. The lesions began to heal too. Today the sensations are coming back, but I did get a little reprieve..which felt wonderful.

I have called a Lyme Doctor in the area, but have not been able to schedule and appt. yet.

Ok, so thats my story. I am sure its nothing new to most of you. Still, if you took the time to read this and could offer any words of insight or advice...I would really appreciate it.

I am really interested in hearing other people's symptoms and stories. Especially how they relate to auto-immune issues, Lyme and of course...the bugs. I have read on some Morgellon's sites that bugs are not part of a "true morgellons". I don't know what that means, I only know what I saw. I would rather believe I wasn't infested with parasites...but I know I saw a live bug crawl out of my ear. I do not know what these bugs are or where they come from. Are they environmental ...living in my home? Or just in my "host" body. Am I contagious! Will any doctor believe me...and the questions go on and on...

I have been going out of my mind with anxiety and even have worried that maybe I am psychotic and have been imagining the things I see.... I KNOW this is not the case, but....I can't help but wonder "what if"? I think I would almost be happier to be delusional than to have this horrible affliction.

Thank you!

PS -- Oh, and I forgot to add that I am also experiencing brain fog and short term memory. I lose words...and a few days ago filled my ice cube tray with water...and placed it in the microwave. Thats just one example.
Becca

PPS
Also, I lived in CA for 12 years before moving back to the east where I immediately contracted Lyme. I just read that many Morgellons sufferers are clustered in CA so I thought that was interesting. I am off to take my 3rd bath of the day....

I know this was way long, and prob most do not have time to read all of it. Prob have heard same questions from all Newbies. I am trying to do my research and learn as much as I can, but there seem to be so many manifestations of the disease and opinions on where it comes from, that it is overwhelming to me....

[hilly]

Hi Becca, welcome to the board... you are certainly not psychotic or mentally unstable, this is a very real illness and we all have similar stories to you. There is lots of help here and lots of people to help you find your way. I hope you get your appointment to your Lyme doctor very soon and I do hope he/she is a lyme literate doctor... that should help you a lot.
Good luck, I'm thinking of you and praying you will find comfort here and start to improve very soon.
Hilly x

[-----------]

Hi Becca, welcome!

We're hear to listen and help you however we can, most people here are nice and willing to take their time to stop and help.

Just ask your questions here and someone will answer or just post anywhere. There's a search feature, just plug in whatever word you're looking for and it'll give you the various threads with that topic.

No, you're not 'crazy'... everything you said sounds very reasonable. Yes, there is a parasitical aspect to Morgellons, you're not imagining it. You might want to get some sort of anti-parasitical medicines from your doctor or at your health food store. There's some wonderful parasitical herbs and the DE thread is helpful.

[carla]

Hi Becca,
Kammy and Hilly are right.Every human being who goes through this evil illness has all the feelings you've had.
You have really been through the mill too.
I know how devastating shingles can be because my Mum had it a few years ago.
We're not sure what Morgellons is either but there is definetly some bug stuff going on.
Don't worry about your post being long.You can describe things well and there will be new sufferers reading this forum who will appreciate that.
I couldn't accept that I had Morgellons for almost a year until I read someones post describing everything I was going through.
Have you had a vaccine recently?
carla

[BeccaB]

Hi Kammy, Hilly and Carla,

Thanks so much for your replies, your support and advice. I look forward to reading your stories and following your threads.

This is definitely the strangest thing I have ever experienced! I am feeling a little less afraid right now...maybe because I am feeling better today. That bath and then ben-gay treatment REALLY made a difference.I have done it three times (once a day for three days) and the lesions are healing and my "arthritis" is much much better. I have no idea why or how this has worked...I have tried soooooo many other things....and am not naive enough to think this will be all I need to do to get well, but it sure helps to have a method to deal with the immediate pain and discomfort. Has anyone else used this combination of things? I think it was important to put the ben-gay cream on directly after my bath....it was really intense for about 5 minutes but then I felt better almost immediately.

I have not had any recent vaccines...did not get the Swine Flu one because I was already too sick. It lasted 3 weeks and went away on its own eventually. The reason I mentioned it was because it may have seriously weakened my immune system....which allowed me to contract whatever this Morg thing is. Of course, I could be totally wrong about that too. Have others had immune weakening illness prior to contracting Morgs?

I finally scheduled an appt. with a Lyme Doc...who cant see me until Sept. 11 (ugh, why that date?) I guess I just have to take a lot of baths until then....I hope I can make it that long...

I will look into the anti-parasitical meds and keep reading other people's solutions. However, I get a bit scared reading how bad it is for some people....this is new for me and I have no idea how far it will progress...

Has anyone talked about eating raw food and juice cleansing? I am thinking of doing this.... Prior to getting sick I was eating A LOT of sugar....and I wonder if this played some part in creating the overall conditions which allowed my body to be susceptible...

Thanks so much.

I do tend to ramble. I promise to keep it shorter from now on.

-B

Thanks again all.

[carla]

I've quit sugar and I am eating as much raw food as possible I've been doing this for a few months and already feeling stronger.
I am definetly shredding less fibers too.

Please don't worry about rambling Becca .You deserve a good ramble and the members here are always willing to listen .

[gigi22]

Hi Becca -

I'm glad you found us. You are not alone!!! And yes, bugs *do* happen to us. It may be a secondary thing that the bugs are attracted to us... but they do happen. Read this forum and you will see!
I am still new to this disease .. just discovered it 2 months ago, however, I've had gnats come out of my arm and floating in my bathwater. I also lint-rollered 2-3 copper-colored bugs (collembola)? out of my arm as well. I believe the collembola are still with me due to the marks they leave on the skin...

[quote=BeccaB;49402]

I have not had any recent vaccines...did not get the Swine Flu one because I was already too sick. It lasted 3 weeks and went away on its own eventually. The reason I mentioned it was because it may have seriously weakened my immune system....which allowed me to contract whatever this Morg thing is. Of course, I could be totally wrong about that too. Have others had immune weakening illness prior to contracting Morgs?

[quote]

YES! Me.. I had some mold exposure which led to sinus problems. Doctors gave me several rounds of antibiotics, which gave me a full blown candida infection. I felt like I was dying. This is when the M symptoms started to appear.

[quote=BeccaB;49402]

Has anyone talked about eating raw food and juice cleansing? I am thinking of doing this.... Prior to getting sick I was eating A LOT of sugar....and I wonder if this played some part in creating the overall conditions which allowed my body to be susceptible...

[quote]

I am on the anti-candida diet, which I was on before the M symptoms appeared. I believe this has helped me... so this means no sugar, no white flour, etc... so this means also no juice cleansing! Agrobacteria has been implicated in our disease, so I am scared to go with raw food totally! When I eat raw, I make sure to wash the veggies in baking soda and water and rinsing before eating...

[Dove]

Hi and welcome!

One method to quickly relieve pain if a lesion is not visible. Use a detox patch which will remove a fluid like substance. After the patch removes the goo (could be radiation fluid), the pain subsides. The patches are recommended for the soles of the foot, but, I use them wherever I feel a need to. Depending upon how dirty the pad is will determine if it needs to be repeated.

This site is full of various methods and treatments. I know you will find something helpful.