Posey,
I am sending you a hug rightnow!
I can understand why you feelthose things and i think it helps us all to share. I do agree w you 100% about praying. i think we are underestimating the power of our united prayers.
I used to be better at praying very hard and full of faith and I had amazing experiences. sometimes when you feel ill it is harder to pray with as much might. in my case I feel totally cut off from my church because of this illness,
Even though this M is indescribably nasty I think I am getting better. I think we are all going to get better and I think God is with us on this. We are going through something worse than any M free person can understand but maybe we are the ones who will get this out in the open and save the lives of others.
Miracles happen all the time and I think we are strong enough to create one here. We have to stick together because it is harder to muster up as much strenght in prayer when you feel so sick.
About the paper towels, for some reason that is the one things that has not seemed to be contaminated for me. Boxes and ANYTHING from any manufacturing plant etc often is. So I just check it and destroy all the Ms. I throw out the boxes if they have anything in them because I dont want it here. I throw out paper towels after each use. Maybe you can try a different brand.
When I first got this M I wanted to go in the booth that makes you into a green cracker, but I couldn't most of all because it would upset my mom. (Also, even though we are getting close, Congress has not yet installed the booths - I think it's page 1247 fine print. Like you, I doubt I would evr do that, but I kept thinking i would be more productive as a green cracker.)
Now, I am getting better in SOME ways. I feel like it is in my bones still, and nerves, and I know it has messed up my endocrine system, but I really think we can beat this and have a great life. I won't be satisfied even if we are in remission. I want us all 100% HEALTHY AND WELL!!! I think the only thing way to overcome our opposition is to continue w our prayers. I will pray for you too.