Megluth...i am so feeling what you are saying. I am on the count down ,to the one year aniversary of our son in laws suicide. I am proud of our daughter and granddaughter and each days battle to move forward surviving this horrible situation. At her request, we will meet at his favorite fishing spot, to rememer him...and to thank all those that helped deal with this. Selfishly...i dread going because of my open lesions. In full sunlight it is not the best sight to behold...my battle to remove it not mindful of the important social events that normally i would help with. I have oversteped my humiliation and embarrasment at my choice and decision to remove this invader thru hloidays and birthdays and my sons wedding and our family tragedy and blessed birth of our granddaughter. Thru it all i carry within me the baggage of emotions that this skin affliction has arroused within me. These emotions keep me from gettin the neded help i am so behind on concerning my teeth and my desire to have broken ones repaired because i need to eat. Yeah...i am so with you in your tears. With in this mess...under all the horrible humilating emotions is a battle cry. Its tears are made of fire. It burns up the feelings of shame and reminds me that this is not about me. This invader, with its anatomy and designs needs to come out to the light of day. We are saying that in our actions. Those around us look at us in curious disbelief and sadness. Yet under their appearance may lurk a hidden agenda that may one day force them to deal with exactly what we are being weighed down with. Will they endure with the patience and tollerance ....the fire that ignites our battle to work towards bringing our success in identifying and removing this invader? Maybe not. Maybe God has called us who can bare this...to do this firery work. Maybe someday this shamed face will shine with thanks from some of those folks who stare. Maybe not, we dont know what is up ahead. We just know to keep moving forward.  |